


Occult Baby

by Dishsoap



Category: Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), DC Comics, Hellblazer & Related Fandoms, Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris, Supernatural, True Blood
Genre: Abusive Parents, Aftermath of Possession, Alternate Universe - True Blood Fusion, Angels are Dicks, Arcane - Freeform, Biblical References, Biblical Reinterpretation, Blood Bond, Demonic Possession, Demons are demons, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fangtasia (True Blood), Forced Blood, Forever, Friendship/Love, Halflings, Heaven, Hell, If tara dies I die, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lilith - Freeform, Lilith a bad bitch, Lilith used for a original plot point, Lol this bitch used to start fires as a kid, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Narcotics, No Sookie/Eric, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Eric, Psychic Abilities, Psychics, Purgatory, Satan is the bad guy but also a guy, Slow Burn, Slow burn. . . sorta, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Hunters, Tara and Pam, Tara lives, The Ether, The mad Demon, True Blood References, Unrequited Love, Vampire Hunters, a literal deal with satan, divine blood, ends happy, gODdamn it pam deserves to be happy, her and tara, idc about weed tho, just read it, nice cars, past abusive relationship, so you know, tainted blood, the Authority - Freeform, this isn't a happy story, vampire, vampire property, you can't stop me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:25:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dishsoap/pseuds/Dishsoap
Summary: This is a story containing several fandoms gone through my blender poured into a larger universe using aspects from all to give it depth and more possibilities. Much like life, the plot will start slow but pick up speed by the end of season one of True Blood. The setting is in the world of True Blood, Hellblazer Constantine, Supernatural, and my strange mind. Come to the dark side, we have damaged protagonists and evil love interests.Follow Kitty as she becomes something else, something that grows farther from humanity with every moment. We have been brutalized with such loss. It has made us brutal in return. At some point, it is impossible to tell whether you are the villain or the hero in your own life.





	1. Kitty makes her first friend

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not hesitate to voice your opinion or hate mail.

My phone lit up and hummed violently on the passenger seat. I pulled to a halt on the dark empty road. The phone flashed the contact RED as I anxiously flipped it open.

“Oh kitty, I fucked up. Baby, I'm so sorry.” Red apologized. 

“Red what did you do.” I accused.

“Kitty, he was gonna kill Betty.” he all but cried to me.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, we leavin’ an all to Georgia. Kitty, he knew you came up to Missouri back when you was gettin’ them papers.”

“... Missouri was a while back Red, he’s gotten lazy.”

“Kitty Florida is fucked. Cuba is fucked. But I didn’t tell him where you was or them houses. I lied baby and I told him you went to Kentucky and was goin’ straight to Florida then Cuba. I didn’t say shit about you layin low in Texas.” He stuttered and tripped on his word vomit.

“When did this happen Red?” 

“Today, we on the road right now getting the hell out of dodge.”

“I’m in Louisiana, I can beat him.” I tried to hold on to what was left of my plan. All that time meticulously planning my fuckin way out-. 

“No Kitty! You can’t. You need to lie low. Stop right fuckin now and get into the smallest town near you. Baby, I'm sorry for ruining shit but I can’t have your death.”

“Fuckity Fuck fuck,” I shouted in a fit.

“Shit kitty I promise to transfer a care package as soon as you land.” I could picture Red’s face. My anger immediately faded. Sweet Red. He wouldn't do this if he didn’t have to.

“I don’t blame you Red. I appreciate you sticking your neck out. I’ll... find someplace here. It fucking had to be in Louisiana. Shit, I will be calling you Red.”

I hung up while he was apologizing and rehashing what I already knew. I was fucked.

I was known to be level-headed. Most of the time. Able to keep calm while the room around went up in flames. But all I could think right now was FUCK. I tried to make a new plan, improvise something that could save my goddamn ass. John was dealing with his own demons at the moment in some run down mental institute-he was a no. I already knew Red was right. Find a small town and lay real fucking low. Burry my goddamn self. No ‘jobs’ or any ether shit. 

The car headlights showed a town sign, like a spotlight from god. WELCOME to Bon Temps! POPULATION 2,527. As if God would be in Louisiana. I pulled my purse into my lap and pulled out an old yellowed card. 

I screamed into the empty road with a dirty business card perched between my fingers. “God fucking damn it.” I miss Los Angeles and this sure wasn’t any fucking LA. I missed John even if he didn’t miss me. I knew if someone happened upon me, it would be a sight. A girl crying and screaming while clutching a business card. I wasn’t sure when I started crying but I was. I was just disorientated from not feeding since Odessa. I felt the shame that came from my existence. I felt myself wishing I stopped in that cheesy vampire bar to find some sexually repressed masochist and ‘soul suck’ them. My common sense won and I knew that vampires meant nothing but trouble. This town’s biggest problem was probably gators. 

The perky blonde smiled and forced herself to pleasantly chat up people she knew her whole life. Trying to drown out their forcible and imposing thoughts. 

“Dumb little girl without a thought in her head that's how it should be” One mind murmured. 

“I know he takes me here every night to stare at the asses hanging out of those skimpy shorts”

“Stupid brute chew with your mouth closed you look like a damn ape”

“Haven't eaten since Odessa I can’t live off of black coffee forever I feel it starting now I know it isn’t good but I just don’t want-“ Sookie didn’t hear that voice before. Husky, honeyed, and breathy. Like those girls, you’d see on the television in black and white. She looked to see a jittery ginger walking at a snail pace while looking very lost. She settled into a booth reluctantly and poked at her lip with her red chipped painted nail while scanning Merlotte's. Sookie waited one second before bouncing over to her with a menu. 

“Hey, my name is Sookie, welcome to Merlotte’s. Is there anything I can get you to drink?” While she was this close she realized she could smell her. Like hibiscus and honey. She looked like she smelled. Real good. Probably a real heartbreaker. She had a strong nose that drew at a point perfectly placed on an oval. Sookie had a strong inkling that she had some lady glue those wispy eyelashes on her frightened wide eyes. Her large green eyes and her plump lips were reminiscent to a youthful innocence that clashed with the distrust in her eyes. 

“She looks kind she has a mother’s eyes and all pure- she smells like sunlight-definitely not human.”

She seemed to peer into me and I felt laid bare. How did she know I was different? She thinks I'm not human? 

“Can I have some whiskey, any will do?” she said smiling kindly...quite morosely looking really. 

“Of course! May I see your I.D.?” 

The ginger pulled out a leather wallet and handed it to her. Carefully reaching out to grab the wallet Sookie's fingers brushed her hand. A small touch but enough for Sookie’s mind to get rammed with forceful images. It was the redhead girl in a car with an intimidating man staring at her, and another of him screaming at her. Another image of her throwing water at a tied up girl while the girl shrieked inhumanly, and her watching the bed rise into flames. Sookie could taste the tar-like aroma as it assaulted her senses. "Etsi wesrat khedekareb emi. Emi nebratronak nüllaan. Maa’. Etsi an nat ashgagna non dünasse. Itsi maa’ ebdee nüllaan! Emi nebratronak!" Words Sookie couldn't understand were shouted and echoed throughout her skull like a gong. Sookie pulled herself together just as quickly as she was pulled into her mind. She looked at the I.D. in the wallet. 

“Vivian Kata Shaw?” Sookie said out loud. ”My stars, that’s pretty. Is it foreign?” Sookie wanted to know what language was slammed into her mind. 

"I was named after my aunt in Romania. You can call me Kitty or Kat, my friends do.” Kitty said smiling shyly.

Sookie smiled cautiously. “Alrighty Kitty, you passing through or staying for a while?”

Kitty tucked a thick chunk of hair behind her ear “You’ll be seeing a lot of me.” 

“And I thought this town was getting boring,” Sookie said turning to ask Sam for her drink.

“I think this town was the right choice. Boring.” Sookie heard while walking away. 

“Hey, Sam can I get a whiskey for the new girl in town?” Sookie said excitedly baiting Sam.

“New girl in town, huh?” Sam said cheekily while pouring her drink. 

“Yeah, she got an exotic name an' all. People call her kitty.” 

“A girl named Sookie making observations about people’s exotic names,” Sam said, all smiles. “She seem like trouble?”

“Yeah definitely.” She scoffed “But I like her she seems sweet, and really pretty.” Sookie felt some apprehension about the new girl but the more she was in the same room, the more she felt drawn in. She might be dangerous but Sookie felt like the girl was different like her. Sookie got pulled into the vision of the screaming girl and Kitty standing over her. She felt that the girl was scarier than Kitty. The girl had exposed veins and a green tint with sharp teeth gnashing. Sookie was convinced it must of have been a nightmare she had. Sookie looked up and caught Sam staring at her. Sookie looked everywhere but him. Sam seemed lonely and all recently. She had these small inklings that Sam was too friendly with Sookie. 

“Oh my, Bon temps got another heartbreaker?” 

Sookie rolled her eyes like a bowling ball and stalked off with the whiskey. She placed the whiskey on a napkin and smiled at Kitty.

“You ready to order or would you like some more time?” 

“Hmm, I love southern comfort...can I have a triple bacon cheeseburger with the special cajun fried fries?” 

Sookie was taken back that such a small girl could eat all that food but again Sookie could kill some food when she had a long work day. “Alrighty, Kitty! And since you're new to town I’d ask Sam over there at the bar about the town and such!” Sookie pointed to a Sam that was staring at them and promptly waved and then busied himself with imaginary dust on the counter.

Kitty flashed a killer smile. “know any places that are hiring?”

Sookie had a terrible, amazing idea. “Merlotte’s has been getting to be quite a handful lately, I would go sweet talk Sam. He’s the Merlotte.” Sookie said bouncing away with her order. 

She saw Kitty down her whiskey without twisting her face all up like most folks. She let out a breathy laugh. Kitty stalked like a panther to the bar, pulling down her halter that stopped below her ribs. Sookie giggled and went off.

 

I slid into the stool and pushed my long annoying waves behind my shoulder. I set the glass gently and smiled at the man famously known as Sam by my new favorite giggly waitress. “I heard you’re hiring.” 

12:40 Pm

I walked out of Merlotte’s while I still had my pants on. I probably shouldn't have had so much to drink but such is when I'm nervous and hungry. I stumbled forward and a certain blonde all American boy caught my attention. Blue-eyes was leaning against my car texting.

“You mind?” I asked picturing myself feeding off him till he faints.

He snapped his phone shut and smiled."Not at all." He glanced at my face and then stood straight. “You ain't from here, I make it my business to know every pretty girl worth knowing’” he said with what was supposed to be charm. I lacked the patience for the cat and mouse game so I took a fist full of his shirt. He had no qualms and attacked me. They never really knew I was feeding on them. I held his face and inhaled. It was an immediate head rush. Before I ate him dry and left him passed out in the parking lot, I backed up. He swayed on his feet and stumbled in a daze.

“I'll be seeing you again right?”

“Maybe,” I said ashamed finding my car and driving away. Fucking shameful. I hated doing this. I hated what I was. I knew it didn’t hurt them- but I didn’t even know what I was taking from them. For all, I knew it could be their life juice or whatever. But I did. I did feed off of them. It was that or blackout for a week and have no idea what horrible things I did. I once woke up in the woods covered in blood. I couldn't blame stress. 


	2. Trouble Finds a Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about Sookie? Sometimes I find her grating but I hope it isn’t apparent in this.

I could tell today was rough for Sookie. Too much stimulation could drive you insane sure as none could. I watched Sookie pause and practice her breathing. She smiled and continued on. I couldn't imagine how horrible it must be to be privy to everyone's darkest parts. I was still in awe of how pure Sookie was despite being bombarded with the constant evil of the human mind. I started thinking about how I found out. After a while I felt horrible migraines and had an inkling someone was fucking about in my mine- my hypothesis was proved correct after invoking a sigil for oclumancy. She looked at me differently then- I think it was what brought her closer to me, she couldn't read my mind. She eventually confronted me about why she couldn't and how we should band together as a band of freaks. I told Sookie the bare minimum, Sometimes I fed off of people consensually not unlike a vampire although not as unpleasant, and I told her sometimes I had visions. I didn't tell her any shit about how I fucked with the ether although I'm sure she would welcome me with open arms- it was just safer this way. Id learned my lesson from John.

"Aye Kitty Kat, get back to work," Merlotte yelled playfully at me.

"Yeah yeah Mr boss man," I said returning to the real world.

I returned with a plater to get a gin and tonic from Sam for the woman who really had no business drinking anymore. I walked into Dawn warning Sookie about the white trash in her section. 

"Want me to get it, baby?" I knew how extra terrible they were to Sookie.

"No. Maybe. I can get it I ain't as fragile as you think." Sookie said putting on her big girl face.

"Don't let 'em get to you, chere." Hero Sam swooped in. "They're not worth it." 

Sookie slid off the counter and left Dawn and I smiling knowingly. 

"If you don't say anything soon, you're never going to Sam." I packed up my tray.

"You really ought to stay out of my business," Sam said uncomfortably. 

"You deserve something real. So does she." I felt so bad for pining after a man that was in love with one of my only friends. We only kissed once as I figured out very quickly I was a substitute for the blonde. Things quickly got better or repressed. I really didn't want to screw up sam's chance of finding a good woman, because I really wasn't one. I'm a mistress, not wife material. If anything happened between us- he would get hurt or die like most do. He was the only other person besides Sookie that new that I was...different. What we had was friendship. I couldn't offer him anything.

"Anything else you need or are you going to get back to work." 

"I'm alright, Fido." I was still hurt that whenever Sookie obliviously spurned him, he'd come back to hide between my legs claiming a connection. I might not have been a good woman but I didn't want to be toyed with. I was still... confused about how I felt. My best guess was friendship because I don't think I'm capable of true, kind love.

"They ain't scared of you honey child, they scared of whats between your legs." Lafayette declared. 

I smiled and dropped a drink off before coming back to give my input on this very interesting conversation. "Men are scared of pussy because they are afraid of its power," I said with a faux husky voice. I grabbed a plate and left a very flustered Sookie.

A scruffy man walked in the front door looking larger than life. A goddamn vampire. In my time here in Bon Temps, Id never saw one vampire here. That's why I stayed here. I wasn't sure how vampire communities worked, but I really fucking hoped that it didn't mean more were coming. They had a knack for trying to leesh me after they found out about my talents. 

"That's some real fucking trouble, Tara," I whispered poking my lip with my nail.

"Sookie just loves trouble." 

"People who get mixed up with vampires disappear almost always," I said knowingly. 

Tara and I stood there watching the scene unfold with caution. Sookie came up to us jealous as a Spaniard. 'Her' vampire had white trash rubbing up against him like a cat in heat. She better hope he is going after that Rat girl. Poor damn Sookie always getting trouble. Her parents, her gift, me showing up, and now this corpse. I just hope she's careful.

I walked away because I didn't want her to hear my constant nagging for her safety, she'd take it as I didn't trust her. I was sorting ketchup when she rammed into me and pulled away. 

"Jesus Sook, what happened," I said pulling my arm back.

"We have to help him! They are going to drain him and sell it." Sook whispered and grabbed a nearby Tara.

"No, we do not Sookie." Tara sassed.

"Sookie don't go out there," I warned. 

I wasn't really paying attention to Sook's speech about tolerance because she has never been in the supernatural world. She didn't know about the shit id seen by the hand of vampires or even worse, fucking demons. I tuned back into her shouting 'shit' and running out the door. I looked and saw the scruffy vampire missing and a wine glass left in his absence. 

"Fuck Ill be back Sam," I said sprinting into the backroom. 

"Not you too." I heard Sam shout in the dust I left in my trail.

I grabbed my purse and left my apron in the backroom. I ran even faster out the back door and into the dark parking lot. I jammed my hand into my purse and felt for the hard handle. I held tight and pulled the revolver out slowly. They were human so the tools I had other than a gun would be overkill or wouldn't work. I ran wildly through the parking lot and finally found Sookie throwing a chain around the junkie's neck. Sookie scrambled for the knife and held it out towards her. It would have been so easy to knock it out of her hand. instead, I raised the gun to the sky and fired a warning shot. The woman scurried backward and Sookie whipped around to see me pointing a gun at the vampire's attackers. Sookie threatened her when she tried to grab the blood so I fired another shot at the ground around her. 

Sookie pulled at the silver around his limbs. Silver hurt vampires. I hoped Sookie would pick up on that as it was good to know. I picked up the silver chain and held it in my hand.

"Thanks and all kat but I got it now." Sookie smiled proudly. 

I didn't say anything. I glared at the vampire and put the silver in Sookie's hand. I put my gun back in my purse and left my best friend with a hungry vampire in a parking lot. I really wanted her to know that I trusted her. But god if I didn't feel so guilty like I signed her death warrant. That vampire was going to do nothing but cause her pain. She wouldn't mind if I placed a temporary protection spell-mostly because she wouldn't know. If the vampire attempted to procure Sookie I thought about setting his dwelling aflame with hellfire. Later that night I got a text from Sook saying that she couldn't hear his thoughts.

No fucking wonder. If I could find peace among the dead, I would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me hate mail


	3. Red Betty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't my favorite chapter, It's mostly filler until I get to the good stuff.............Which is next chapter. Kitty meets Eric. I am pretty unhappy with this story thus far but I am very pleased with the chapters coming up so please bear with me through this trash.

Tara: Bitch Sookie is having that vampire over for dinner tonight. You oughta come.  
Kitten: Shit I'm coming save some beer.

 

I came a little late to the party as I was not trying to spend some quality time with Bill the vampire although I came because I was curious. Tara's text had me a bit worried. I showed up in a zip-up hoodie and shorts. There's nobody here I wanted to impress besides Adele. Everyone was listening to Bill talk about his lineage and impressing them with his vast knowledge of the town. I didn't grow up here so I wasn't too impressed by his little show.

Jason challenged Bill in a little debate on vampire rights. Jason wasn't as knowledgeable so he just managed to look like an idiot. That boy had no sense of any picture bigger than getting laid and coasting on his high school popularity.

"Jason you shouldn't talk about things you don't know about." I slapped his arm with the back of my hand. 

"Don't. Even I know you hate vampires." He said shoving food into his mouth like a slob.

"I do not hate vampires. Some aren't as nice as our mister Compton. That's all." I said taking a swig. I didn't mean for that to slip. I didn't even tell Sookie that I had experienced any form of supernatural and she was my best friend but I let it slip when I was barely backed into a corner. 

"Not all of us share the same beliefs, much like humans." Bill offered all polite smiles. 

I smiled kindly before I felt a buzz in my pocket. Incoming call RED. Oh fuck. I held my phone and darted to the bathroom whispering apologies. 

"Kitty." Red sighed.

"Red you haven't called in months, what happened," I whispered stabbing my lip with a nail.

"He's got back from Cuba, and uh. He killed Betty." Red cried into the phone. 

"Oh, Red I'm so sorry. Do you need anything?" I couldn't help the tears welling in my eyes. Betty was killed because of me. Because Red helped me disappear and Betty was close to Red. Betty was a troubled girl before Red, he found her at rock bottom and took her in. Red had a soft spot for strays, when Constantine introduced us, it was meant to be. He was the brother I’ve always wanted. 

"No, I just. I just called to say I'm going to Canada. After the funeral." He whimpered. "You won't be able to run to me kitty. I can help but it won't be the same, Kitty. You're on your own."

"It's okay Red. Can you keep your ear to the ground and listen for him?" I asked softly.

"Kitty the news is some big vamp sent him after you, some guy named Russel. Fucker is still after you. I'm tired, Kitty. Don't you ever get tired kitty?" 

"Don't hesitate to call me Red," I said refusing to talk about it. I flipped the phone angrily. I stood for a minute before punching the wall with pure frustration. It hurt but the pain grounded me in reality. I had foolishly thought he just some pedophile that picked up a little girl but that was not the case.

He knew what I was the moment he saw me-it was why he took me. But how could a Were work for a vamper? Why wouldn't he take me to him right away? Why move me into his shitty apartment? It has been six years since he snatched me. Did he disappear for a while because he didn't take me to Russel? Trip must have shown up to finish the job, fucker was prepared for me, he knew about my abilities and limitations. I would've hurt him if I could but whenever I thought about him I couldn't do anything. It was like he was impervious to the arcane. I couldn't track him or anything- I wasn't as strong as John so I ran. The most human thing I could do.

"Sorry kids, I'm gonna head home and try to sleep," I said rushing out the door without eye contact.

I sat in the car, hands on the wheel crying. Its been a while since I had a breakdown so it seemed due. I couldn't get a fucking break. I thought about going home, maybe drinking myself to sleep. But drinking alone is sad. I hesitantly opened her phone and called a contact.

"Hey, kitty is there something wrong?" Merlotte asked.

"Is there any room on your porch for me?" 

"You know there always is, come to Merlotte's. I closed it but there's an open bar for you."

"Thanks, Sam." 

"You know it ain't a thing. Now come get your ass over here." He laughed.

 

 

I pulled the car to a stop in front of Merlotte's. I shouldn't be doing this but I never did do smart things. I pulled my sorry ass out that car and marched into that bar. I saw Sam wiping a glass down. I came up the bar and sat on a stool.

"Bartender I've had a really rough day and I sure could use a drink," I said leaning on the counter.

"You mix your own damn drink, I'm off the clock." Sam laughed.

I sighed dramatically before climbing on top of the counter like a child. I dropped down to another side to see Sam's amused face shaking his head. I poured a large glass of Bourbon. I took a few slugs before turning to him. 

"You gonna drink with me or just sit there looking like a kicked puppy?"

He laughed "Alright as long as you don't call me Fido again." he picked up my drink and took a long swig.

I knew why he drank mine. He was worried id get shitfaced and try to drive home. Very sweet of him.

"Of course. Lassie." I girlishly giggled and hopped on top of the counter.

He shook his head and handed my drink back. I laughed and tucked some hair behind my ear. His face dropped. He held my arm to look at my hand. 

"Fuck happened Kitty?" 

"I got angry and punched a wall like a roids freak," I said embarrassed. 

He smiled before turning around to grab some ice. He stepped between my legs holding ice. He held it against my fist. I sucked in some air than promptly tried to drown myself with liquor. He brushed the hair off my shoulder and held the side of my face. I leaned into his hand.

"What's going on kitten?"

"I haven't felt normal in a damn long time." I confided.

"Do I make you feel normal?" 

"I'm sorry for showing up at random times."

"I don't care, maybe I want to feel normal too."

I slid down from the bar and right against him. I wasn't sure if he was leaning down for me or something else. So I slid past him and snatched two glasses.

"To your porch?" I asked innocently, already halfway out the door. I climbed the steps of his porch and waited for him. He slid past me and snatched the glasses from me. He filled them and turned back.

"You stayin' the night?" Sam asked while sitting down and handing me a drink. 

"I couldn't do that," I said taking deep swigs of the drink.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask that you do," he said looking at the glass. 

I looked down at my glass and back at him coyly. "My bad."

"Wanna borrow a shirt to sleep in?" 

I didn't think my clothes would be too uncomfortable to sleep in. "You might never get it back." I leaned into the chair and closed my eyes. 

I heard a laugh and felt something tossed at my chest. I looked down and held up a shirt. I smiled and stood up. I slipped my shirt off and put his on. "How do I look?" I said jokingly.

He said nothing but finished his drink and stood. He brought back another drink for me. What was wrong with me? I'm pinning after my boss who is pinning after one of my only friends. It wasn't that long ago that I escaped a man that held me captive from fifteen to seventeen. I was sitting on a porch with a man that I was starting to really care for. I didn't deserve this. I made Trip into what he was because of whatever the fuck I was. I fed off him for years without knowing it, it had to have done something to him. It was the only thing that made sense to me. I was evil and I made him evil. I am worse than the walking corpses that feed off of innocents. My daddy was right. I was some demonic whore that opened her legs for any man who smiled at her. 

"I know you don't like talking about your past and all. You're as jumpy as Terry, you got these terrible scars-" Sam slowly stated. "I know you're running from something, I can help."

"I'm not a good person Sam. Bad shit happens to those around me."

"Just fucking tell me something Kat."

"There was a guy I met when I was fifteen. Trip. He was twenty-nine. When I turned sixteen he took me out of Montana and we moved to California. I don't know if he was always on V but it came pretty damn apparent." I said neglecting to meet his eye. I was afraid if I looked him in the eye he would know how much I left out.

"Shit Kitty, are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I should be getting home." It was a mistake to come tonight. On so many levels this was a really fucking stupid idea.

"Kitty you ain't gotta run from me. You're safe with me. Wanna get shit faced and watch tv?"

"Always the romantic arent you."

I woke up on Sam's chest coiled around him like a snake. Oh god, I just couldn't stop fucking up, could I? You don't sleep with the man you have feelings for unless you're ready for more. My chest felt concaved and void space. I was being crushed under the weight of my guilt. He didn't want this, he couldn't have. I fucked and fed off my boss. I slipped my limbs away and tried to roll out of his space. I froze when I felt his arms fold around me and hold me tighter. Was I so touch deprived that I would- yes. The little resolve I possessed disappeared when I felt him trail his fingers on my spine. What was this? What did this mean?


	4. Grateful Dead

I couldn’t make eye contact with Sam. These days I was just his employe. Nothing more. He didn’t fight me too much on it seeing how Dawn was killed and poor Sookie was the one to find her. When she came into work today I immediately pulled her into the backroom and held her. She spilled her guts to me on how they thought Jason did it and she was going to do something. I might regret it but I offered my help. I wasn’t about to let her get beat up in a parking lot again. Bill won brownie points after I saw the news on how Denise and Mack were crushed in their trailer by a ‘tornado’. I had no intention of telling Sook that I was aware much less glad that they were dead. She was planning on going to some vampire bar in Shreveport that the girls had frequent. I was just afraid of asking Sam to leave early.

“Hey, Sam did Sookie talk to you?” I leaned in his doorway apprehensively. 

“Please don’t tell me you're in on her shit.” 

“I wasn’t about to let her go alone, Sam,” I said irritated. “Now are you going to make her go alone or am I going with her.” 

“Fine, but I thought you were smarter than that.” disappointment permeating his stab.

“You can’t say shit to me Sam Merlotte.” I all but spat. He thought he knew me just because he’d been inside of me- the nerve of men. Some small part of me recognized that I was focusing on my anger to distract me from the other cesspool of emotions that involved my dog of a boss.

There wasn’t a manual on what to wear to a vampire bar so I channeled my underground alternative L.A. style. I thought it was fitting to wear a grateful dead shirt, they might not think it was funny but I did. I paired it with a black skirt and Louboutins. My prised shoes better survive the night or I was going to freak out on some dead fucks. I vaguely was aware that the club scene might not match what I was wearing but I thought as long as I didn’t show up in a white sundress I was on the right track. I wore big wings for eyeliner and my coveted Tom Ford ‘Scarlet Rouge’. The thing that mattered most to me regarding the fang den-was to blend in. Vampires had a tendency to collect things the thought they could use much like humans except they might shove blood down your throat. I was vaguely aware of the effects of vampire blood, I knew it would make them able to track you. That was unless you had tainted blood. 

My apprehension of vampires only grew with every moment- they weren’t all like my contacts in the underground. The vampires I was used to dealing with were afraid of me because of my connections in L.A. but, here in Bon Temps, they didn’t know who Midnite or Constantine and would most likely not give a shit that I had places in every corner of the occult- or at least I used to. There were very few vampires I met that actually knew of demons or of the Ether. I only knew of my connection to the otherworldly when my life was getting fucked by demons. Constantine found me not even a month after Trip left me alone in a city I didn't know. He put me in the care of Father Hennessy who taught me how to control my peculiarities. Hennessy could speak with the dead and often drowned himself in bourbon to keep the voices out. My drinking habits paled in comparison. After much reluctance on John Constantine's part, he taught me how to wield the arcane paired with my connections to the Ether. The things I saw were horrible, a little girl getting ripped apart by a demon, cruel men messing with things they didn't understand, and even Hell itself. It's strange to say that was the best part of my life. Because I had John, he seemed larger than life. Things don't last, he saw something, not even he could shake and an innocent paid the price. When Constantine was locked away in the mental ward I fell apart, I picked up habits, stopped doing jobs for those I should have and fell into myself. John and I didn’t part on the best terms, he believed that if I wanted to live I had to leave the strange behind- pretend that what made me myself didn’t exist. I never saw him so scared for my safety. I didn’t think he was right until Trip came back and locked me in a car trunk. The things that happened won't leave me. I wanted to blame the V he was on but I was coming to grips with the fact that it was most likely more him than any drug. He bound our lives together-If he dies by my hand, I die. I still had no idea who he found to do so, it was a powerful spell he would never be able to do. I couldn’t even use harmless spells against him anymore although I believe the reason was more psychological than physical. I never feared any demon as much as I feared Tripe. With demons I knew how to send them back to hell, they had rules but with Trip, there was no loophole... it was incredibly human-like for me to feel so helpless. I faced truly evil beings but here I was, in some black water town trying to live my life normally. I guess John's words really did affect me.

Feeling my mind wander into dangerous territory I desperately decided to distract myself with loading my purse with protection. I walked out of my all too white bathroom and into my beige bedroom. I pushed my rickety bed with a flimsy mattress away and got to my knees. I painfully pried a floorboard away with my fingernails only pausing when I felt it pop. I blindly felt around until I came upon a small box, I slowly pulled the box up careful not to make the beetle inside scream. I smiled at the screech beetle and tucked it into my purse for safety precautions. I knew it gave demons incredible pain and I knew most supes with enhanced hearing would be damaged too. Next, I pulled cherrywood-mountain ash and tossed it in my purse. My personal little invention. If blown into someone's face, the cherrywood would calm, and the Mountain ash would daze them (depending on concentration). I also threw in a shaded candle in case I needed to disappear quickly. Tucking the bottle away, I found the Occlumency protection sigil tattoo on my forearm fading, I was surprised it lasted as long as it did, the ink I drew it in was only semi-permanent. I only had a little before the ink would disappear and Sookie would once again be privy to my thoughts. 

I heard a knock at the door and knew it had to be Sookie, the knock was polite and soft like her. I closed the flooring and ran into the living room to greet Sook. On my way to the kitchen, I snatched my leather jacket on the back of my couch. I opened the door and paused. Sookie was wearing a revealing light sundress that screamed Sookie. Tonight was going to be harder than I thought if I had to make sure she came back in one piece.

“You do not look like any fang-banger I have ever seen,” I said stifling a giggle.

“Thank you,” Sookie said smiling. “Why would I want to look like a fang-banger?” 

“To fit in?” I said laughing and swooping in for a hug. “What I meant to say was you look beautiful.” 

I smiled and held her in a greeting- I felt this sting before the world around me fell away. I was looking at my father’s pocket watch, the rusted hands and yellowed tint was familiar. It was the nicest thing my father owned, it belonged to his father. The pointed hands were stuck around 12:43. I heard shouting and gunshots that I couldn’t make sense of until I heard the word ‘police’. More words hit me like a brick wall. "Our little zoo is growing." I heard the words in another language but understood the meaning perfectly. A sea of protectiveness surged within me. I soon became hyper-aware that I was no longer in Sook’s arms but behind her as she approached the car. I caught up to her pace and sat in the car and turned my attention to Bill. I desperately wanted to warn them that this night would end badly but I felt as though he already knew that... and I didn't want to reveal myself. I was just going to protect Sookie. I had to. 

“Hello Mr. Compton, thank you for escorting us to...ahem...Fangtasia.” it was hard for me to keep a straight face saying the word ‘fangtasia’ out loud but I didn’t want him to think I didn’t know the reality of our situation.

“Please call me Bill,” after a pause I saw him smile with amusement “Nice shirt.”


	5. John Carpenter's Village of the Damned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric yo

I could feel Fangtasia before I could see it. It felt like pure, swimming energy. I felt stronger just being near, large gatherings of Supes did that. The neon lights seemed brighter than anything in this world. Opening the car door I was hit with an odd sensation. People died here, people came here to die. Some unknowingly came to flirt with death to make their lives more exciting while others knew that behind this tourist facade, death leered. I hoped to god I never saw those pulsating lights again. Bill held Sookie closely as we approached the front doors. I found as soon as my feet crossed the threshold a violent hum reverberated through my skull. We had not made two feet within before a gorgeous specimen of a woman stepped forward. Her makeup was done on a grey scale that accentuated the colorless aspect of the vampire. Her demeanor was in a careless way that seemed to add to her beauty. 

“Bill, haven't seen you in a while.” she drawled as if she would rather be anywhere but talking to Bill. Glad to see it wasn’t just humans that talked down to Bill.

“I'm mainstreaming,” Bill said unappreciative of her existence, I couldn’t see why she seemed like fun. 

“Good for you.” She said like she was talking to a child. “Whos the dolls?” I had a suspicion that it was more to make Bill uncomfortable than to satiate curiosity. I was starting to like this woman more and more.

“Pam this is Sookie and Vivian, Vivian and Sookie this is Pam.” I took note of the use of my formal name. 

Sookie, the south-grown belle she is, stuck her hand out immediately. “Pleased to meet you.” I felt the need to tell her about how vampires usually only touched mortals when they initiated it although I figured Bill would have told her so I wouldn’t have to explain how I knew that. Sookie figured it out quickly when Pam looked down at her hand like someone shoved a plate of bugs in front of her nose. A Lot of vampires looked down on humans because they were mortal although they seemed to forget the fact that vampires were only temporarily immortal. 

Pam raised a perfect eyebrow. “Can I see your I.D.?” 

“Oh sure,” Sookie said dashing for her I.D. “How funny, who'd thought? Getting carded at a vampire bar.” 

“I can no longer tell human ages,” Pam said further drawing attention to the distance she had between humanity. She glanced at Sook’s before taking mine. “We must be careful we serve no minors, in any capacity.” My lips curled in amusement at how theatrical vampires could be, it must serve a purpose though, running a touristy tryst into the vampire world. 

“Twenty-five? How sweet it is.” Pam seemed to catch on to Sookie’s uncomfort and prodded at it. She then turned her sights on me to catch me blatantly checking her out. “My, you smell mouthwatering.”

“Thanks?” I said somewhat flustered at her attempt to seem predatory while Bill dragged us off. I liked Pam, she was far from boring. Vampires were so straightforward it was kind of funny, although her comment caught me off guard I felt like Pam could’ve said way worse. 

I could feel Pam staring at us as Sookie made a comparison between Disneyworld and Fangtasia. I laughed and muttered “Bread and Circuses.” 

I perked up when I heard Bill say drink. He stalked to the bar and caught the attention of a native American man with long hair. “How's it going, Bill?” I noticed he had his fangs out and I thought about how difficult it must be not to speak with a lisp. 

“Very well.” 

“I'll say it is, are these your meals for tonight?” I felt slight offense but only slight. I was very opposed to the thought of someone drinking my blood again. I had no idea what it would do to vampires.

I learned that his name was Longshadow as he leered over Sookie. Sookie could only take his stare for so long before she pleasantly asked for a gin and tonic. Bill asked for a TrueBlood. When Longshadow looked at me I politely asked for a bourbon.

“Any particular kind?” 

“Booker’s?” and with that, he shot off at vamp speed. 

Underling. 

I realized with a start that the thought wasn’t my own. It was the voice that followed me, escaping the back of my mind where it belonged. It was the voice that told me things I didn’t need to know, things I shouldn’t know. Father Hennessy had told me it might have been the dead but the dead’s voices came and went, almost never the same person. It was the voice that told me dangerous things. I hadn't heard the voice since I left Los Angeles but it was foolish to assume any different. When I was a little girl I thought the voice was a friend, even named him Rocky. He liked to push me to bad things, he encouraged me to start fires and wreak havoc. He wasn’t a friend. 

It seems our thief isn’t meant for this world much longer. 

“This one, she wanted to die.” He held up a picture of Pickens.

“How did you know,” Sookie said straining to be calm. 

“Everyone who comes here does. In their own way. That’s who we are; death.” Longshadow said shooting a knowing stare at Bill. I chose not to comment on his statement and rather walk away with our drinks. 

He doesn’t know true death like we do Vivian. 

“Excuse me, I'm going to touch up my face,” I said lamely as an excuse. 

I walked away but not before downing half my drink in an attempt to quiet the disheartening voice. I made my way to the bathroom before grasping at the corners of the porcelain sink. 

So many have died down there, I wonder if he’ll take your little bird down there too.

My grip tightened on the sink. The lights flickered and one popped. Steam rose out of the faceuts and fogged the mirrors. A vague shadow behind me could be made out.

Or you could kill him and save us the trouble of what he’ll bring. It'll be fun.

I could hear his voice lower as the liquor wormed its way through me. The voice sounding more and more underwater. The lights weren’t flickering anymore and I found the only evidence left was fogged mirrors. I straightened up and found that I wasn’t alone in the room. There was a man behind me. I jumped around and found that he was no longer there. I turned and walked away as calmly as I could while ignoring the rising feeling of the hum in my chest. 

I walked into the main bar and quickly caught up to the table. I picked up my drink as casually as I could with the anxiety crashing against me in waves. My nerves got the best of me, that's all. I found myself wishing I told John about the voice I heard as a little girl rather than telling Father Hennessy. It wasn’t really him behind me. It couldn’t be.

I hadn’t lost a grip like this since I first started working for Sam, a redneck got a little too touchy-feely and a beer pitcher exploded spectacularly. I was quick to blame the man and left promptly running away from the floodgates I opened for more rumors about me. Like the rumors of teen pregnancy and myself being a runaway when in fact I was twenty-two. I was born in fucking 1986 I'm not a teen runaway, Arlene.

I felt my spine shudder with a sensation of eyes. I surveyed the room and caught whose eyes I felt burning into my back. A blonde neanderthal was seated on a throne in the bar staring at me. A throne. Really? Vampires were truly ridiculous, dramatic creatures. My brows rose of their own accord in scrutiny. I understood the theatrics and all of the business, but a goddamn throne? What kind of self-absorbed asshole literally sits on a throne in a bar of all places. I mean he’s pretty but that hardly constitutes his dominion over half-naked goths. Well, actually these people probably lapped that shit up. I quickly turned to see him kick some man at his knees through a table. He didn’t spare the man a single look. Isn’t that what he wanted? Attention, to feel like some big man. Why else sit on a throne. 

“He should be a kicker for the New Orleans Saints,” I said scoffing in my drink. 

“Kitty!” Sookie scolded to which I just impishly shrugged. 

“Uh oh,” Bill said.

“Don’t say ‘uh oh’, vampires don’t say uh-oh Bill,” Sookie said hurriedly. 

“You could say ‘this is unfortunate,’” I supplied mockingly. “That sounds more vampire.” 

“This is very unfortunate.” He said unamused. “He’s scanned you twice. He's going to summon us.” 

I grimaced “Cute.” 

“He can do that?” 

“Oh yeah,” Bill said sourly when the neanderthal flicked his fingers at us. He held his hand out for Sookie, ever the gentleman. I, however, stayed still in my seat. I glanced at the clock and found it was 12:30. We had to leave in thirteen minutes, we need to needed to get this over with. I tilted my head back and downed the rest of my drink, I was never one to waste good alcohol. I tightened my purse and faintly realized that I discarded my jacket back on the chair, I walked calmly with the duo until we were standing in front of the throne prick. 

“Bill Compton.” The man said with an unsettlingly deep voice. “It has been a while.” Being this close I had a chance to take in his appearance. He certainly wasn’t bad to look at although it seemed his personality got in the way. He caught my stare and smirked. I just continued to glance at him unamused. 

You have caught the Viking’s eye. Eric Northman won’t forget.

Not that I could trust the voice but it seemed right if this Northman was a Viking. His information was never wrong, it was just his advice I couldn’t trust. He was Scandinavian looks and had a brute built. Not to mention he was sitting on a throne with runes and various designs. If he was a Viking he would be the oldest vampire I met. Around a thousand years give or take. Very powerful. I doubt I could hold my own against him if he suddenly decided that my life was to come to an end. That enough put me more on edge combined with the sudden reappearance of Rocky.

“Yes well, I've been-” Bill sputtered out nervously.

“Mainstreaming.” Eric sneered. “I've heard.” I could taste the disgust and contempt he felt for cohabitation between humans and vampires. He flicked his eyes over Sookie and I before he commented: “I see that is going well for you.” I felt my annoyance rising with fear, an odd mixture.

“Yes of course. Uh, sorry. These are my friends-” 

“Sookie Stackhouse, and Vivian Shaw.” Pam must have told him our names. Inhaling, I found that the blondes smelt similar. They smelled like each other, kind of how Sookie smells like Bill but vaguely how Sookie smells like Jason.

What you're smelling is the blood bond, Eric is Pam’s maker.

I could feel the intense bond that tied them. My understanding stare between the two didn’t go unnoticed by Pam, who rose her brow with a curious lift of her lips.

“How do you know our names?” Sookie blurted.

“Our I.D.s,” I recalled softly to Sookie.

“I never forget a pretty face. Yall are in my vault.” She recounted pointing to her head. 

“How flattering,” I said sarcastically.

“Great. That’s just great.” Sookie quipped. “It was nice meeting you but-” Sookie began trying to excuse us. 

“Well aren't you sweet.” he pestered. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Not really,” Sookie responded.

Bill gripped her hand tighter in warning. Eric chortled in slight dark amusement. Eric uttered the words I heard in my vision. Our little zoo is growing. My annoyance bubbled with a glare of disbelief between the two that also, didn’t go unnoticed. 

“I understand you’ve been asking questions about some of my customers.” He taunted.

“Yes, I have,” Sookie said calmly. I was proud of how collected she was or pretended to be.

“If you have anything to ask, you should ask it of me.”  
“All right, you recognize either one of these girls?” She inquired pulling two pictures out of her purse and handing them to him.

He glances at one in annoyance before slightly smiling with an approving sound at the other. 

“Well, this one offered herself to me. But I found her too pathetic for my attentions.” I didn’t like Pickens too much but I didn’t like the way he talked about her more. He paused for effect before smiling “Now this one, however...I have tasted.” I didn’t know if that was the only way he could find something significant about humans or if he was trying to make Sookie and I uncomfortable. 

“I remember them both.” Pam Said.

“On account of the vault?” Sookie sassed. Bill in response gripped Sookie’s hands once again. 

“Never had either of them, though. They weren’t really my type.” She drawled smirking. 

I glanced at the clock behind the bar before attempting to make our exit. “Thank you so, very much for your time. We really should be leaving.” I said reaching for the pictures in hand. 

“I'm not finished with you yet.” He ordered while gripping my outstretched wrist. With a faux smile, he said. “Please, sit.” I tugged on my wrist but he made no motion for letting me go. I huffed in annoyance before I found myself on his lap. It was too fast to comprehend I realized quickly that it was vamp speed. My spine stilled for a second before I furiously struggled. Sookie looked like she was going to say something before Bill quieted her with a look.

He sat nonchalantly as if he wasn’t holding me in his lap like a deranged Santa Claus. His grip was crushing and I felt unable to move. I was sure if held a hair tighter my ribs would start cracking, I never had any broken bones or even hairline fractures so I only had my frightening imagination to go off of. I held up pieces of my hair and studied me like I was an animal in his lap. 

“So, Bill, are you quite attached?” He inquired nonchalantly. At this, I started struggling once again with newfound energy. This wasn’t a fucking a human-swap. 

“Fuck you barbarian neanderthal piece of shit.” I spat elbowing him as hard as I could in the chest. This amused him which pissed me off further. He snapped a hand over my mouth held me tighter. My words were muffled under his hand as I called him colorful insults that would make a sailor blush.

“Sookie is mine,” Bill said darkly. 

“Yes. I am his.” Sookie said. 

“What a pity. For me.” Eric mused. “And this one?” 

Bill paused regretfully “She is… unclaimed.” 

“Sit Bill. We have much to discuss you and I, it has been too long.”

Once it seemed I calmed Eric lessened his grip on me. Semi-free, I glanced at the clock again. “Sookie we need to leave,” I stressed.

“You don’t enjoy my company? I'm hurt.” 

“Fuck off bimbo, the police are gonna come through any minute.” I huffed full of apprehension and anger. 

“She’s right there's gonna be a raid we need to leave.”

“You’re not undercover cops.” He said darkly. I didn't think it was possible, but his grip tightened.

“No, but that man in the hat is.” Sookie countered.

“Even if you’re right, we do nothing illegal here.”

“There’s a vampire named Tayrn in the ladies bathroom feeding on that man you kicked earlier.”

“And how many have died in your basement Eric? Do you really want to chance that?” I said darkly. 

The shouts parallel with my dream sounded and I felt hoisted over a shoulder. A very large and sharp shoulder. The side door was slammed open and I was hit with fresh air. I vaguely wondered what would happen to my Jacket. 

“I enjoyed meeting you, Miss Stackhouse, we will meet again.” He said in farewell but made no motion to let me go. 

I heard Sookie shout my name and I knew Bill was holding her back. She would be safe with him. I shouted to Bill “Get her out of here!” Bill spared no moment and whisked off with Sookie and I was left spilled over a shoulder like a conquest. 

“You can let me down now.” I seethed. 

“I’d rather not.”

“I'm not a spoil of war, you big brute oaf,” I shouted. I heard a slap. That fucking bimbo slapped my ass! “HEY!” I exploded. Another slap. I kneed him as hard as I could in the chest. Which earned another slap. I growled like a feral animal before I was slapped harder. “Okay! Stop my ass is sore.” 

I was thrown forward against a wall and a hard crunch bellowed behind me. I was held against a brick wall with pieces falling on my shoulder and in my hair. I looked around me with double vision, I was no longer in Fangtasia, rather some alley in Shreveport. I was acutely aware that he had me pinned by my neck. 

“Who do you work for?” He growled, past amusement gone. 

“Sam Merlotte,” I said in a daze. “I waitress for him at Merlotte’s.” The fact that I could be seen as a spy only occurred to me now. 

He considered this for a moment. Then he caught my eyes with this with complete focus. I felt unable to look away, nothing else mattered. “Who do you work for.” He restated.

“Sam Merlotte in Bon Temps,” I said in a trance. A trance. THAT FUCKER. He was glamouring me. I shook off his influence. “I'm not a spy, I'm just really unlucky.” 

“Than what are you? How did you know about my basement?” He said exerting his influence.

“I’m human you fucking oaf.” His grip tightened on my throat painfully.

“Your body temperature is higher than a human, you don’t smell like a were, but you have their temper. Your blood is unmistakably inhuman and your skull should've cracked in half from the force of the wall. You went as far to resist my influence. Let me ask once again, what are you?” When my response was nothing a shimmer of dark delight washed in his eyes. “Shall we have a taste then?” 

He leaned in and I properly panicked. If he tasted my blood it would be over- I knew it was a narcotic for humans-at least for weres but I had no idea how a vampire would react to it. I was terrified that I might be drained dry. The high that affected people after I fed was nothing compared to the effects of my blood. I remember too many days Trip would spend in a high stupor from the blood he drained from me if he couldn’t control himself how would a fucking vampire. 

“I'll tell you what I know!” I screamed hoarsely when I felt him against my neck. He paused. “I don’t know what I am, just bits and pieces.” I pleaded. “Just give me my purse.” 

He paused in smug satisfaction before rooting through my purse. He pulled out John’s old business card and pocketed it while I felt my chest compress from the sight of it. He then pulled out the screech beetle. 

“Shake it,” I said. He looked at me for a moment before he softly shook it.  
An inhuman shriek brought him to his knees roaring, I hadn’t heard the screech beetle before. John described it as merely annoying to humans and harrowing to demons. It, in fact, was fucking agonizing to me. It brought me to my knees while I grit my teeth in a strained manner while I snatched my gear and stumbled away.

Once I was two feet away the effects wore off, unfortunately for him too. He shoved me to the ground teeth bared and growling. I was pinned to the ground with his face in mine. I never fed as an attack, but when in Rome I fucking guess. I brought my head up and inhaled while gripping his hair. I never fed off a vampire before but it was… indescribable. I never felt so much power before. I felt the strength and a connection to the Ether like never before. Every muscle was coursing with new found strength. I shoved him off of me and below me. His eyes were unfocused and his body was lax. He brought a hand to my face in an ungraceful manner in a complete high. Despite me attacking him he was… smiling. That fucker was high, I mean like really high. His hands were numbly grasping on me and my clothing in a lame attempt to keep me from leaving. It was kind of endearing, in an odd way, to see him like this. 

“More.” his drugged oblivion request caught me a little off guard. 

“Sorry, you’re cute and all but I got things to do,” I said patting his cold cheek like he was a child, he kind of was right now. With that, I unmounted him. I pulled my skirt down and straightened myself.

I pulled out my purse and found the shaded candle. “What did you do to me.” I paused. His words were still sluggish but not enough for my safety.

The candle lit itself with no prompting and I blew it out. The world around me dissolved into shadows and smoke. The smoke cleared and I was In my living room. No drugged vampire between my legs. 

Not only did I exposed myself to a vampire, I exposed myself to a sheriff vampire made during the Anglo-Saxon period. A really fucking old vampire. As if fucking ‘Russel’ wasn’t enough. I knew I was going to be seeing him again. I couldn’t run, I wasn’t the only one exposed. If I ran Sookie could be even more of a target. 

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did the beetle effect her?  
> What is she?  
> Who or what is the voice?  
> What is Eric going to do to her?  
> Next chapter will give some insight.


	6. Bloodthirsty saint, with the soul of a whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's point of view, my babies. Eat up

Eric held the yellowed card between his fingers. He didn’t miss the mournful look that crossed Vivian’s face when he took it. This card held meaning to her and ultimately Eric. It held a clue to her past. The girls were curious things to him. They could hold much use. A telepath was a prized possession but he felt his thoughts wander back to the ginger, her hair was actually more strawberry blonde with tones of red and blonde. She held her own against a thousand-year-old vampire, such a feat for a tiny little thing. Her jacket exuded of her, he kept it on his lap in a strange comfort.

He had Pam dig up everything she could on the girls, he had found out that Sookie grew up in Bon Temps and had created no waves so to speak but Vivian however, was a different story. Vivian Kata Shaw (Blood Type AB), born 1986 October 24th, grew up in Helena, Montana to Ray M. Shaw (Blood type O) and Claire L. Shaw (Blood Type A). The importance of the blood types would have been overlooked if not for the more than slight obsession he had with Vivian. Eric's obsession proved fruitful as Type O and Type A parents can't reproduce type AB children. Vivian's father Ray wasn't really her father. He wondered if she knew, it could have been the reason why she left.

Vivian school transcript held a large number of outbursts, disturbances, and fights. Kitten always had a temper it seemed. Her unfaithful mother, Claire, no longer lived with the Shaw residence as of 1998 when Vivian was twelve. From the time between of 1998 and 2002, there were multiple reported domestic disturbances. Ray Shaw had recently had a drunk and disorderly circumstance. 

In late 2002, Vivian aged sixteen, disappeared for her to reappear a year later in Los Angeles. She lived in a church named Mary's Worship under the care of a Father Hennessy attending homeschool under him to the age of twenty where she lived in a dilapidated studio center. Her work consisted of waitressing in various places and ultimately an assistant job at a 'Midnite's club'. The owner didn't exist but Pam found a forum dedicated to him that consisted of wild speculations. She then cut all ties in Los Angeles for her to appear in Bon Temps. Curious. 

throughout out her history Eric, Pam more like, found no mention of a John Constantine. The name printed on the very old card that our dear Vivian loves so much. Eric found annoyance at the possibility that he could be an old lover. Pam found nothing of interest on this Constantine beside what they already knew from the card. John Constantine, Private investigator. No number or address. He dropped the card into his pocket. 

He inhaled the jacket for the fifth time this night. It smelled like Vivian. Hubscious, honey, and an alluring smell he couldn't place that compared to the wilderness but found pleasant nonetheless. The thought that this Vivian was a witch had crossed his mind but not for long. Witches smelled of incense and even blood born witches did not possess the scent or abilities that Miss Shaw did. Nor the power. He wasn't even sure there were any more blood born witches anymore. 

This Vivian captured his full attention, more so than when he first saw her. She walked in and he felt the room around him hum and writhe with excitement. He found it strange that she was referred to as Kitty when her name tasted so gratifying on the tongue. When he held her in his lap her intoxicating smell ramped with fear that only intensified her smell more so. Her hair was silky and tangled, her skin unusually heated. He hadn't taken claim on a human in a long time, so long that it was a rarity especially on one so young. His desire to bed her became more rampant when he discovered her temper and attitude. 

The fateful incident in the alley held his attention more so. He hadn't meant to shove her so hard, he was relieved when he hadn't split her skull in half but the fact it hadn't raised important questions. Questions that grew with whatever that godawful box held, how she only yielded to glamouring with head trauma, and finally whatever she fucking did to him that caused him to sprawl out in rapture. Not to mention her nifty trick of being able to disappear in a puff of smoke and darkness leaving him flustered and unsatisfied. 

When Eric held her restrained below him, the animalistic thought of taking her did come across but was lost in his rage and pride. when she kissed him he thought she was trying to fuck her way out of death, he was not ashamed to admit it probably would have worked had he had the intention of killing her. Her lips were rich and full. It started like a pleasant enough kiss that he felt himself hesitantly reciprocating wholeheartedly before it shifted into something else. He had a strange vision of her before the enchantment took hold. A dark and violent delight. He had never felt such a pleasure so intense from something so little as a kiss, a pleasure he usually reserved for fucking and slaughtering like a champion. The headrush and euphoria were intense. It was dangerous. Not only because he liked it but how it so easily made him docile. He expected her to stand before him smug and kill him at least but she made no move, she looked rather shameful and apologetic that she had done so. This could be used. He doubted that she would use her influence against him unless severely provoked. 

The vision or dream, he had of her seemed even more unintentional than his stupor. She didn't seem conscious of it. It was strange how he found himself unsure if it was his own mind or not that conceived it into existence. 

It was an abandoned pool with emotional teenagers engaging in underage drinking and skateboarding. He saw an Emo-teenager Vivian kissing a mere boy with clear intentions of conquest, that flashed in and out of a separate but similar sight of Vivian and himself in bed. He heard her terrified scream at the sight of the boy falling due to her induced delirium, the screams turned into pleasurable moans when the dream returned to him and Vivian. He wondered if he was having a dream of her past and future. He came to and saw Vivian on top of him trying to pull away. He remembered numbly grasping at her in an attempt to fulfill his vision of the future. He remembered her eyes in perfect detail. Her right eye was fern green colored in contrast to her left powder blue. He wondered how he hadn't noticed the difference in her eyes before. Her wide eyes full of fear and shame. Fear not of him, he believed. If she was afraid of herself it seemed so should he, but he wasn't.

Eric felt resentment that he was dwelling on what or what not was the color of her eyes when she was a very valuable creature. He knew once vampires reached a certain age they started to lose a grip on their mind but he knew full well his reaction was garnered perfectly well. The Authority would be foaming at the mouth to get their hands on her, and as Eric always said Fuck The Authority. She was his. He would get her first. Her hold over others could be used not only for his primitive urges but for other matters. He was almost sure she had other things she was hiding in her infernal purse of wonders besides that dreadful screeching bug. He knew whatever she had done to him had made her stronger if not only temporarily. Like she was feeding off of him... He could make a powerful thing out of her. He pushed off the strange spell she had unknowingly placed upon him and focused on obtaining her.

Sookie was claimed but vampire relationships could easily become unsteady, Vivian, in the eyes of every vampire was free for the taking. The only reason he deemed that she wasn't claimed was that of her scarce meeting of vampires that was evident of her mouth she freely discharged on Eric. 

"Pam," Eric ordered.

"Yes, your excellency?" Pam remarked after appearing in the door. He shot Pam a pointed look. The interest he held for the girls, Vivian in especially, was annoying and inconvenient for her. 

"Hold down the fort." He demanded before picking up his car keys.

"Are you going to give her back the jacket? Or keep sniffing it like it's her panties?" Pam sassed amusedly. 

"Pam." He chided before heading out of Fangtasia in a blur. He was going to get answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter's name is a lyric from my favorite song by Daniele Luppi and Parquet Courts, Soul and Cigarette.


	7. Boy Talk With The Gals

My sleep was poor at most. It had been two days with no vampire slasher sightings and suffice to say, I was on edge. I had never fed off of someone so much. I thought he might have died when I saw him unmoving. He might have liked it at the moment but nothing was stopping him from ripping my head off of these shoulders now. The fact he hadn't yet was not comforting. 

My entire work day consisted of me jumping at nonexistence threats more than usual. Terry had been present for one of my freakouts when I saw a tall blonde enter, I ran behind Merlotte's for a break. Terry had talked me through a breathing exercise and gave me a cigarette. Terry was a gentle, kind, troubled man that I wished the world for. Sam had tried and failed at comforting me as I refused to admit anything was wrong, he was more interested in the fact Sookie and Bill were on the quits at the moment. That left a Bitter taste in my mouth. Sookie had tried to pry what happened to me but all I would say that Eric tried to scare me into admitting that I was some Supe, that I was a little shaken. I wasn't shaken, I was paranoid. 

Eric was going to show up any moment and trap me in that little torture basement he had. Rocky had told me about it. In some fucked up way, he was the person I was closest to. He seemed to know everything about me and everything about everyone else. It was like he was the only thing that made sense anymore, I found myself talking with him lately. He lapped up the chance for conversation instead of me blatantly ignoring his existence. 

"Rocky?" I tentatively asked. 

Yes, Child?

"When do you think he'll come?"

He's On His Way, Not To Worry, He's Here Because He Wants More. It'll Be Easy To Kill Him After. 

"I don't kill," I said trying not to acknowledge that he was coming here, now. 

I Know You Won't. I Hoped, But I Knew. He Does However, You Haven't Reached Your Full Potential As Of Yet. Once You Do, He Won't Be Able To Hurt You Unless You Let Him. 

"What do you mean 'my full potential'?" I asked softly. It seemed normal to me that we pillow talked every night, it brought a strange comfort of knowing I wasn't completely alone. 

Your Awakening. When It Happens It Will Be Glorious. 

His words always unsettled me when he talked as if I was this powerful beast that could squash the world beneath my toes. I always ignored it, but I couldn't stop the thought that this wasn't it for me. I might wake up one day in complete control of what I was. My ramblings were cut short by the crunch of gravel beneath tires. He was here. 

I shot out of bed and headed to my closet and loaded my shotgun as quickly as I could. I measured my breaths to keep the panic at bay. I had been thinking about this in extreme detail for a while now. I fumbled with a shotgun shell when I heard three thunderous knocks. With the composure that would scare a lawyer, I strode to the door and swung it open. I pointed the gun straight at his massive chest.

"Hello, Kitten." He said affectionately.

"Hey bitch, what do you want?" I said faux casually. 

"I wanted to talk." He said like the picture boy of control. 

"Alright. Talk." I nudged the gun at him. 

"Won't you invite me inside, I thought Southern Folk were all about hospitality. "

"I'm pretty comfortable right here, and I'm not southern although I think you know that." 

"That won't kill me." He pointed out smug.

"Yeah, but it'll hurt like a bitch." I cocked the gun, satisfied when his smile fell. 

"I thought that you would want this back." He said pulling out John's Business card. "You seemed so attached to it, what with the tear stains. At least come out." He stepped back in a sign of truce. 

I lowered my gun and took a step forward then stilled. No. "I'd rather not Bimbo." I pulled up the gun at him. He didn't like this, if I wasn't so focused on pointing the gun I would've realized that it was over the threshold. He grabbed the tip of the gun and pulled me out. He held me against the outside wall with brute strength. 

"Was that so hard?" He exasperated, fangs bared. "Now invite me in or I'll give the neighbors something to talk about." 

"Fuck," I whisper-shouted at myself. He raised his brow.

"My, for a Catholic girl you have quite the mouth. Don't worry, I'll find a use for it." He leaned his oppressing body more so against me. 

"Pleasing you with my mouth is the furthest thing in my mind right now-" I began blowing up at him. 

"You're right, invite me in so I can show you what I can do with mine." He smiled like a predator. 

"If I invite you in will you not penetrate or kill me?" I asked seriously. 

"I promise I won't kill you. And I won't fuck you until you beg me." 

"Ugh you slut, come in." I could tell he was shocked and the tiniest bit flustered, had he never been called one before? Ahh, so it seems that this is his new name. He sped us into the house and dropped me on the couch. "Did you really have to show up like that? There are girls getting killed for familiarizing with vampires." 

"I wouldn't let you die, who do you take me for? I'm anything but incompetent." He huffed. I was wondering if he was going to make a dirty comment about limp dick but it seemed that part went over his head. "Now you, have explaining to do. I promise that the truth is safe with me, I rather despise the Authority and I wouldn't want others taking what is mine. What are you?"

"I'm not yours." I childishly snapped which earned a dismissive look. I decided telling most of the truth seemed like the best answer as he had been surprisingly merciful compared to what he could have been. "I don't know what or if I am something, I know I can tap into the Ether for certain things." 

"What's the Ether and for what things?" He supplied. "Are you a witch?"

"It's what connects us to the other side, to the dead. Witches use their connection to the earth, not the Ether. I can use the Ether for Arcane purposes. Excorism, wards, projection, Divination, pyromancy, and shit. Doesn't mean I'm good at it. Pyromancy shows up inconsistency and usually, under extreme duress, everything besides divination can't really be done without preparation. Divination is what I am best at." I explained thoroughly because I knew vampires weren't really up to snuff on the occult. "Divination is how I know things, how I can find people, how I know things." 

"Excorism?" He asked.

"Like Demons." He didn't seem skeptical. 

"Are there more like you?"

"Not many that I know of, I knew of one that could only speak to the dead, he taught me how to control it...or just alcoholism. He raised me, he didn't really use it unless he had to. He doesn't feed or do anything else. He's not really like me."

"Was Constantine like you?" He asked. 

"... No. Not at all. He was more. Even the authority doesn't fuck with him, So I wouldn't fuck with him. More powerful people have tried and failed."

"So protective of him, should I be jealous?" Eric teased. 

"I shouldn't be so protective, he's untouchable," I said in complete honesty, Eric seemed curious about Constantine but I doubt he would try anything. 

"What was the thing you did to me?" He asked his face stoic. 

"I... am so sorry, I really wouldn't have if I didn't think you were going to kill me and you're really heavy andIThoughtYouWereGoingToKillMe." I spout in a ramble that stopped when he sent me a look. "I... fed off of you? I feed to survive, I've never used it as an attack."

"Is there any lasting effects?" He asked emotionless filing away everything I said. 

"Horrible limp dick." My ill-timed humor seemed to make an appearance. His face motionless, he obviously knew that. Blondie probably got laid on his way here. "...Just kidding! You might be tired for like a minute at the most but I don't know, I've never fed so much off of someone, and off of a vampire. Are you okay?" 

"I recovered quickly," He dismissed. "Was it different from humans?" This fucker really covered all his bases.

"Very much so," I said almost reminiscent of the power it gave me, some of that power still coursing through me. 

"You liked it didn't you?" He smiled smugly.

"It looked like you did." I snarked. 

He held my face in his hands and held himself over me in a predatory fashion. He had his cold, hard, dead body on me. "Very much so, although I wouldn't try that little trick against me again if you value the lives around you." He smirked. I paled. I wouldn't give a rats ass if he threatened me, but he didn't. He threatened Sookie, Sam, and every person I came into contact with. He sniffed and his face skewed. "You smell like dog." 

I shouldn't. Dogs would freak out and cats would bristle and hiss. They just didn't like me.

"Thanks." I deadpanned. 

He unmounted me and straightened himself. He pulled out my phone that was previously in my pocket out. 

"Hey!" I lunged for my phone, he held me back with one hand and fiddled with the phone with the other.

"I will contact you." He said tossing the phone at me. With that, he promptly walked away. A thought occurred to me. 

"Do you have my jacket?" I asked I knew he did. I left it there. He had to have heard me although that didn't stop him from acting like he hadn't. 

Oh god. What had I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Threats? out  
> Shotgun? out  
> Dicks? Not yet


	8. flesh and bone

It was the usual crowd at Merlotte's, drunkards come to gossip and leer at their waitresses. I had been avoiding Sookie because of how my tattoo had completely faded and my thoughts were now privy to her, I didn't need her to know about Eric. My skittish nature dimmed after my informative meeting with Mr. Bloodsucker extraordinaire, I shouldn't have been at ease but I felt safe from other vampires. The fucker threatened me but he displayed a great distaste for the garbage Authority.

The Authority never was a threat to when I lived in the shadow of John, he had taken measures for my secret. But he wasn't here anymore. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was found by Trip or something else. I shouldn't be comforted by the thought of Eric but he thought I was useful, and as long as I continued to be useful, he wouldn't let me die. If Trip made his appearance Eric might even go as far to take care of him for me. Did I want Trip dead? I wanted him to leave me the fuck alone but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. It felt like him or me, and I wouldn't make the mistake of being his plaything again. That man ruined me. He would never let me go, he had told me so and more than showed me. If it came down to it, I was choosing me. Eric seemed possessive and jealous enough to kill a man who wanted his pet, I wouldn't have to tell him anything more. I've already said way more than enough to that undead prick. 

Eric was easy on the eyes but I made no mistake of trusting him. He wasn't one easily to be made the fool. 

"Kitty, please tell me I didn't see a vampire at your door last night." Alrene snatched my attention.

Shit. "Alrene-" I began.

"I saw you wielding a shotgun at a dead man. If you're in some vamp-" 

"Look, I try my best to stay away from scary men and when a vampire showed up on my doorstep- I freaked out. He was returning something I lost. It was a misunderstanding on my part." I elaborately lied. "I'm in no trouble, I'm not fornicating with vampires, and you are completely safe." 

"Jesus Kitty, we thought you were...in relations with a vampire and we already got enough of that with Sookie." Alrene huffed.

"We? Who did you tell Arlene?" I asked exasperatedly.

She looked fairly apologetic. 

"Ahh alright it's whatever, you can go tell the whole town now that I'm not a fangbanger." I rubbed my temples irate. 

"It was kind of a relief, we thought you was gay." 

I whispered OhMyGod under my breath and stormed away to the kitchen. So what if I was? I wasn't about to tell her I actually was in fact attracted to girls anytime soon with the welcoming show of tolerance I was just showed. I hoped she didn't say anything like that to Lafayette. Speaking of which. 

"Hey Lala, you look good today." I chimed. His skin was absolutely glowing more so than usual. 

"Hush baby, I already know." He swayed flamboyantly.

I inhaled and found something strange. He smelled like vampire blood. The same way Sookie did after...

I leaned forward and frantically whispered when I was sure no one was in earshot. "Lafayette please tell me you aren't on or selling V." 

He paused for a moment and leaned forward. "Now why the fuck would you know that." 

"Oh Lala, those vamps would kill you." The fear evident in my voice. 

"Don't worry about little ol' me. Youse keep your mouth shut baby girl." 

"Lala you know I wouldn't. If I could smell it, so can vamps." I warned grabbing the trey and moving on. I hadn't seen a man on V function so normally it was jarring for me. Trip wasn't like that. 

"I hope you're not too flipped out to miss the Descendants of the Glorious Dead tonight." I recognized Sam's. I eavesdropped while I went through my business slowly. 

"No, I gotta go. Gran spent all week on it." 

"Good, 'cause...I was gonna ask if you wanna go with me." I halted before slowly dropping a plate on a table. My chest hurt, my hands became clammy. I didn't expect anything from Sam, but I thought we had something. I was foolish to think that he would like me for anything more than a substitute. But that didn't stop my heart from tearing in half. 

I walked away with a fake pleasant smile on my face despite the deep churning in my gut. I sped to the back past the kitchen into the back door. I faintly heard yelling and could scent the unmistakable smell of burnt meat. I swung the back door to see Terry rigid with a hand behind the back. When he recognized it was me, he relaxed and scratched his forehead with his previously hidden hand that held a cigarette. 

"Thought you were Sam." He smiled impishly. Sam didn't like his smoking on work days because he claimed that you could taste it in the food. As if you could taste anything but the love this man poured into his work. 

"Do I look like Sam?" I softly teased. I walked to him and sat on the railing. 

He laughed deeply before shaking his head. "Not at all, cept' the ginger hair." 

"I'll have you know, I'm a strawberry blonde." It was strange how insecure I was about being called a ginger, probably because of how almost in every insult thrown at me ginger always wormed its way in. It didn't matter to me if Terry called me one, his intentions were never anything sour like the boys from my hometown. 

"My mistake." He chuckled and held his hands in surrender. 

"Are you going to the church tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"...Because of a certain redhead...?" I asked.

"Now she's got a man. A good man." He sputtered, ashamed at his crush on Arlene.

"Of course Terry, but you know, you're a good man too," I addressed earnestly. He looked at me unsure.

"A good man doesn't do the things I did, Kitty." He spoke seriously, devoid of prior humor. 

"You did what you did, saw what you did, for us. That's what a good man does." I said hiding the unshed tears welling in my eyes. 

"You're too sweet." He smiled small, not taking my words to heart. "Get back in there and find a man worth your words." He shooed me with a smile. I felt somewhat better from my little chat with Terry. 

Life was a cruel bitch if Terry truly thought anything different than what I thought of him. 

 

I ducked into the women's bathroom to cold compress my face with the icy water from the rusted sink. I looked at the dirty mirror with dark spots gracing the corners. I found my insecurity rushing at me in full force that I didn't want to look at my face but I couldn't look away. My hair always curled and looked frizzed not two minutes after brushing. My nose was large and came to a too sharp point that looked cut down the middle, a tip indentation. My eyes large and childish with the odd pairing colors that didn't quite match, Making me look always afraid that inspired pity by others. My eyelashes were too light to see if I even had any without mascara. My face looked somehow fat and too skinny at the same time. 

My body held most of my shame. My collarbones were sharp lines that were reminiscent of that of a skeleton. Thin from the waist up, small breasts and tiny frame. My hips held a large thickness that traveled to my heart shaped globe of an ass and large thighs that seemed even large paired with small calves. I was even insecure about my long skinny feet that were ever so loving called duck feet by my father. 

Why was I acting like a little bitch right now? I held a shotgun at a thousand-year-old vampire and threatened him. I doubt these mouthy rednecks had balls like that. I fought a goddamn sheriff vampire and won. Fuck Sam for making me feel like a teenager again. Mama didn't raise no bitch...well actually my mom didn't raise me, or my Father for that matter. I raised myself. Fuck these people and fuck them. I felt my insecurity dull at the thought of how messed up I could be with my history but I wasn't too ruined despite how I felt. 

I swung open the door and went through business per usual. I perked up and even found myself chatting up people I usually tried my best to ignore. I felt a pinch and I realized why I ignored them. Lafayette charged out to defend my honor against a boy that had groped my ass. I beat him to it as I whirled around and hit the college boy over the head with a tray and cursed him out while he cradled his head. 

He crouched his head and spat out confusedly "Was that fucking Hebrew?!" I realized quickly that the language I called him a pig fucker in was not English, though I perfectly understood what I said. It was not Hebrew, it was something older. How I knew that though, was a mystery to us both. 

I had no time for a retort before Lala shoved them out the door. He came back and escorted me to the back. "Now youse gots to calm down baby. Can't be bashing these fuckers skulls in even if I really liked watchin' it." He paused. "Come by my place tomorrow for some goodies that oughta calm that tempa'." He conspiracy whispered before sashaying away. It has been a long time since I've done recreational drugs and I decided I wouldn't, I had too many unpleasant memories of others on drugs. Not to say I wasn't tempted. I didn't want to become the girl I was when I was sixteen, it was thanks to Father Hennessy I was clean...besides alcohol of course. 

Our 'Friend' Is Waiting For Us Outside

My shift was almost over Merlotte's people were clearing out to head to the church. I couldn't talk to Rocky in public so I would have to wait to see who was paying me a visit, although I had a very good guess.

I slipped into Sam's office to fortunately already gone. I grabbed my purse and walked out saying my pleasantries to Arlene who was closing up. 

I slowly walked through the parking lot, not at all wanting to see who I thought was waiting for me. I was not surprised at all to see a certain dipshit leaning against my prised Doll. My Doll was a white 1967-Ford-Mustang, a gift from Papa Midnite who noticed I had a hard-on for her. It was a send-off gift for my 'journey'. 

"Get off Doll." 

"Kitten, Doll is a strange pet name but I can't say that I mind it." He smiled cockily.


	9. No Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do not condone drug abuse.
> 
> Trigger warning: Graphic violence, Mentions of sexual assault, and Major character death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric: come over I'm cold(;  
> Vivian: buy a heater lol  
> Eric:  
> Vivian: arent you dead

"Get off Doll." 

"Kitten, Doll is a strange pet name but I can't say that I mind it." He smiled cockily. 

"The car is Doll, you're still a slut." I rebuked trying to push him off of the door. 

He kept his stature on the door, blocking my way like the slut he was. "I assume my favorite psychic going the church, to hear our darling Billy speak." 

"Yes I am, I would like to hear about his past," I said still trying to pry the door open.

"I will accompany you." He stated. 

"I'd rather you not." I backed away with a scowl and a matching glare.

"Afraid?" He teased with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't want to be seen with you." 

"I'm hurt, Kitty. I thought we had something." He mocked. He straightened after seeing that I had not yet relented to his will. He whispered in my ear threateningly playful "Two can play this game."

He looked past me and yelled, "Last Night Was Amazing, I didn't know you could do that many things with your tongue! Heaven is between your thighs." He moaned over the top.

I clamped my hand over his mouth and hushed him frantically. I swirled my head around to see if anyone could've heard him before giving him the stink eye. "You will never know what this tongue can do." 

He held my arm and brought his lips to my wrist to nip playfully. "Better yet, I'll show you what mine is capable of." I snapped my arm back and wiped my wrist against his sleeve. "If you're done, shall we?" He gestured to my car. 

I muttered 'Slut' under my breath and made for the door. He blocked my path. "I'll drive." He told.

"No you won't, this is a beautiful car and I won't have you crashing it."

"Don't worry Kitten, I'll be gentle." He whispered in my ear. I shoved him while rolling my eyes and walked to the passenger door. He vamp-sped to it and I raised my brow at him. He opened it for me. I gave him an incredulous look while I entered, which he ignored. 

I tossed him the keys and he caught them frighteningly fast. He started up Doll and a smile came to his face. "You have a nice car."

"Thanks-"

"One you couldn't afford on a waitressing job for a shifter." He concluded.

"It was a gift," I said cautiously. I didn't know what he was accusing me of. 

"From a former lover, I assume?" He growled out. 

"Employer." I was taken aback by his reactions. Was he already getting possessive over me? Why?

"Midnite?" He asked while pulling out of the parking lot. Apprehension and shame crawled up my neck and embraced me terribly. How much did Eric Northman know about me? He couldn't have known about my year with Trip. I practically disappeared. He could only know about the official record about me. My vacation from my record must have irked him. 

"Yes. Did you... background check me?" I asked piercingly. 

"Yes." He stated simply. At least he was honest I guess. 

"I assume you came for a reason." 

"Yes."

"I hope it doesn't have anything to do with your cock." He looked at me surprised before smiling and shaking his head. 

"Be careful Kitten, you wouldn't want to excite me more than you already have." He reprimanded.

"I'm not going to send you off with a Morning Rose, Slut." I mocked.

He looked positively confused "What's a Morning Rose?" 

I chuckled fully "I am not going to tell nor show you." I wasn't about to tell him a Morning Rose was lipstick marks on a someone's shaft or to some less vulgar, regular hickeys. 

He looked thoughtful for a moment before returning to usual cocky self. "I want you to have my blood." 

I paled considerably even for my fair complexion. "No," I stated. 

"I-" He began before I jammed the radio full blast. 

I obnoxiously sang along to the song amidst his increasingly annoyed state. I drummed my fingers on my dashboard trying to be as annoying as possible. I think I succeeded.

"I LOVE THIS SONG," I yelled over the music. I saw his lips forming unhearable words. I cupped my hand to my ear. "DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?" I mocked. He slammed on the breaks and my body jolted against the seatbelt. He turned and switched the radio off.

"I said, 'we're here'." He replied irately. 

"Oh joy," I said rubbing my chest. I jumped out of Doll and stalked to my house totally furious by Eric's presence. I stood in the safety of my house while staring at him. Eric stood on my porch expectantly as he wasn't able to enter without another invitation. He couldn't enter the threshold and I relished that power over him.

"What? No invitation?" He conversed cockily. 

"No, I don't want you rubbing up against me like a cat in heat." I smugly said, satisfied he couldn't enter. "You'll have to wait outside like a good boy." 

He stepped through the threshold with an even smugger smile much to my horrified countenance. "It only takes once. I'm in for life, Kitten." 

I scowled and hurled shut the door behind him. "Fuck you."

"Is that an invitation?" He dropped his fangs with a grin. 

"I'm not having a quickie before church." I walked into my bedroom.

"I promise it won't be quick. You might want to cancel previous plans." He spoke to me, much to my surprise he was following me to my bedroom. 

"What do you think you're doing?" I exasperatedly questioned. "You're not watching me get dressed." He rolled his eyes and fell on my couch like an annoyed child.

I hastily dressed in a floral sundress and coated light makeup on. I paused before deciding to wear my cross, the little Catholic girl in me winning. I thought she died a long time ago but yet I still found myself praying for those I loved. Prayers were never answered but it brought small comfort that I could care for John and Father Hennessy without being there. 

I happened to Eric, the little bastard he was, going through my sketchbook I left on the dining table. I stomped up to him, I tried to snatch it from his hands but he put his huge hand on my shoulder effectively holding me back like an annoying younger sibling. I clawed at the book while he barely used his strength to efficiently hold me off. 

"Pam will be happy to know you've drawn her, so well too." 

I ripped the book out of his hands. I held it close to my chest. He made no motion to rip it out of my arms so I relaxed. I thought for a moment before I ripped the page off with Pam in early 1900's style clothing. I drew it after a weird dream I had of her and Bill, I guessed it was probably just a weird dream I had as not all of my dreams were of importance. Some were just weird. I held it out to him expectedly. He slowly took it and nodded. 

"I don't want you to accompany me to the church." I reiterated.

"Will you take my blood then?" he asked hopefully. 

"No." I retorted.

"Than accompany you, I will." He grinned wickedly. 

"Why do you want me to have your blood so bad?" I exasperated. 

He started towards me but I held my ground, I wasn't about to be bullied by a power-hungry bitch. He twirled a piece of my hair between two huge fingers. "So I can make good on that promise of mine. I can't have you dying when there are so many things to do." He seemed to just notice my attire and slowly held an approving look. "It's like you want me to fuck you." He sighed dramatically.

I flushed furiously. It wasn't that I hadn't heard crude things before, but he made it out like I was a temptress who gained satisfaction that he couldn't touch me. I wasn't trying to play him. I stepped out of his grasp and shook my head. 

"This all seems very unnecessary. It would be in our best interest if you let me go alone and without your nasty ass blood in me." I heard the distinct click of fangs.

Eric hissed and sped towards me, he flipped me onto a table by my shoulders. "Blood is sacred, you should be honored." He seethed.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TURN ME INTO A ADDICT!" I shouted in his face full of rage. I slowly gained my breath after my little moment. It was the truth. I developed a Cocaine addiction while living with Trip, a party girl until I was trapped in a locked basement courtesy of Him. I couldn't go back to that after I had fought so hard to get clean. I promised myself I wouldn't become like Trip. I was a user but I never did the things he did to people. He might not have been human, but any ounce of humanity left when that blood went to his lips. He became erratic and more terrifying than usual. He was how I discovered my blood was a narcotic, he bit me and found he liked it. Too much. I was his personal unknowing enabler.

It wasn't a one-time incident, it was long-term torture of him shooting me up with morphine or speedball and bleeding me dry and chaining me up like a dog. It took me five goddamn years to figure out how to live. He became so dependant on my blood I was surprised when he disappeared, it wasn't by choice. He couldn't get through the day without visits to my wrists. If werewolves and humans got high from my blood I had no idea how a vampire would react, they already had enough restraint difficulties as it is. I wasn't going to become like Trip, willing to do anything for a fix, I already had enough of that. And I wasn't about to be fucking drained, I fought too damn hard for life just to die because a vampire thought I was property. 

"You'll do best not to yell at me." He chastised while bopping me on the nose. "Is that what you were worried about? It's quite different from the source my beloved Vivian." My name on his lips brought an involuntary shiver that was followed readily by shame. My attraction to him was outweighed by my survival and pride. I was thinking about what my name would sound like if induced by ecstasy before I decided I needed to be clear.

"I am not going to live the rest of my life connected to you, Eric I don't want to be blood bonded to you," I said as if I wasn't held at a table by a really goddamn old vampire. My previous rage hid in my bones while I claimed calm and sense as my facade.

He leaned into me further, my breath fanned against his chin. His face showed his displeasure with my words. Why was he so. . . hurt looking? "What's stopping me from forcing you?" His rage won over any previous emotion I thought I saw.

"You wouldn't dare." I spat in horror. It didn't sound like he was talking about blood. He might throw me around like a ball but he wouldn't. . . would he? He's a vampire, he would. Why would I expect honor against a man that thrives on the death of others? I was going to be forced by a predator, I needed to do something. White hot panic and fear coursed through me. I couldn't be violated again. 

"You're right, where's the fun in that?" He laughed. I tentatively opened my eyes. His eyes softened with recognition. He bopped me on the nose again but my trust wasn't won. I scowled and batted his hand away. I admitted that I got in my head, the fear of being hurt never being so prevalent since I learned how to harness my abilities. Trip is gone and I can take care of myself I said in my head like a mantra. I wasn't going to be hurt. My breathing calmed and my heart was no longer drumming against my core. 

"Now as much as I like seeing you like this, we can't be late." He released me and held out his hand. I sat up while I batted it away and barged past him. "Vivian." He called

"What?! What do you want now?" I snapped. He already won this little battle and wounded my pride. He was going to accompany me to the fricking church and all. 

"Your dress is tucked in your underwear." He announced smugly. 

I looked down and quickly untucked my dress while my cheeks flushed horribly. Eric was sitting there all superior like the bitch he was. "I'm driving," I said fighting the pink that attacked me. 

 

It was just before 8:00 and the church looked forbidding like they always did. I might have grown up in a church within the faith but I felt as if I had no place in a religion. It was if I wasn't welcome. This deep-rooted feeling like I would burst into flames at the hands of the very many sins I have committed.

I tried to ignore The fact the boss that I have slept with was here at the church courting my best friend. And I still cared for him. Oh Sookie, I forgot about her. I was being distant and a not very good friend to her lately. It wasn't like I didn't care for her it was just I felt too preoccupied with keeping Eric away from her. After this I would explain everything to her, I would tell her what really happened and why I showed up with a vampire 'date' to her ex's memorial (I guess that's what this is). She meant too much to me not to. It was hard for me to make friends but Sookie was easy to make friends with. She laughed whenever my mouth ran wild and shrugged off my weird behavior. 

Hoyt held out a flyer to me with a bashful smile. "This your date, Kitty?" He nodded at the massive blonde next to me. Eric rolled his eyes rudely but Hoyt thankfully didn't notice. 

"Yes--" Eric began.

"He wishes," I said to Hoyt in a playful manner. He smiled brighter. Eric scowled and snatched the flyer from Hoyt. "This is my friend, Eric. Eric this is Hoyt a good friend of mine." Hoyt's bashfulness increased from my comment.

"Nice to meet you." Hoyt stuck out his hand. Eric glanced at his hand distastefully before snapping his fangs out. Hoyt recoiled and jerked his hand back.

"Eric! Don't be rude." I preached. "Hoyt I'm so sorry, he's not good with people." Hoyt nodded clumsily. 

"We got som' TruBlood in the back if you want." Hoyt offered. 

"I don't drink TruBlood," Eric stated, fangs now withdrawn. 

"My heart-beat challenged friend is joking, it really means he likes you," I said steering away Eric from possibly embarrassing me further. Hoyt seemed to believe me by the oafish smile of understanding that took place in his appearance. 

"You better not act like this in front of Gran," I announced pissed off to the seven hells. 

"As long as she doesn't eye-fuck you too." He replied matter of factly. I looked at him bewildered. 

"Hoyt wasn't eye-fucking me, he doesn't know how to. That boy is sweeter than honey and you were threatening him-- you see this is why I didn't want you to come." I stated seriously. 

Adele made eye contact with me and swam through the people to speak to me. "Oh Vivian, I'm so glad you came, darling." She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek affectionately.

"Of course I came Adele." I smiled sincerely. 

"Now what have I told you girl, call me Gran." She spoke patting my shoulders. "My stars, how rude of me. Who is your handsome date?"

Before I could explain that he wasn't my date, Eric cut in. "I'm Eric Northman, now you must be this Adele Vivian speaks of so kindly." I was startled by how friendly Eric could be. Where was this Slut the many times he choked me out? He held out his hand to her. She took it and paused. 

"Oh my, you are freezin'." She said to herself more than anyone else. My heart started to race. 

"I am, as Vivian said 'Heart-beat challenged'." He said with a dashing smile. 

"Oh please forgive me." She apologized. 

"No need Adele, you've done nothing to offend me." He charmed. 

"You must be a real catch, we neva see Kitty with a man." She said conversationally. I blanched. 

"I am." He stated. I looked at him with a grimace while Adele laughed. 

"Gran, can I help you and Sookie cleanup?" I steered the conversation to more safe matters. 

"Oh nonsense, there ain't gonna be anything to clean and Sookie is gonna be off with Sam afterward." My smile fell at the mention of Sam before I picked it back up. I hoped none noticed but I felt like a certain dead blonde noticed as how he was curiously staring at me. 

"Then, I'll drive you home," I said sweetly. 

"No," Eric said.

"Yes," I said incredulously and offended that he thought he had such control over me.

"No," Eric spoke again catching a confused Adele's gaze. "You'd rather her go off with the handsome vampire." Gran was completely enthralled by his glamour. 

"You really want me to drive you home so we can catch up," I said urgently to her, the edge of panic clear in my voice. She shook her head and picked her smile back up. 

"Oh, would you drive me home? I'd love to catch up." She asked hopefully. 

"Of course Adele." Eric stared at me startled. Had I glamoured Gran? I was becoming more of a freak every moment.

Eric locked our arms and swiftly guided us to seats. He looked at me expectantly. "You didn't say you could glamour."

"I didn't know," I said sickened. 

"You surprise me at every turn." He stared at me even as Bill took the stage. I stared ahead at Bill, unwilling to acknowledge that he was still staring at me. You would think he had better things to do besides glaring at a psychic he threatens constantly. That boy gives me whiplash. One moment he is trying to bed me and the next he's holding me up by the throat. That was something I needed to speak to him about. Especially if my suspicion was correct and he was trying to 'employ' me. I hated myself for it, but I found his antics funny. The way flirting just slipped off his tongue and his intelligent banter was refreshing compared to how I usually dumbed myself down for others benefit. 

Bill unfolded a flag off a cross that someone had thought was best to cover up, the image of someone trying to hide a cross in a church because they thought Bill was going to flare up and boil was absolutely hilarious. This town was small and they were trying to welcome a new vampire even if they thought he was a spawn of Satan. Eric somewhere in Bill's introduction had switched his focus to Bill lazily. Bill made a charming remark and Eric scoffed, I elbowed him hard in the ribs which earned a low hiss directed at me. I continued to act like Bill was the only thing that existed. not the vampire who stalked me or even Sookie and Sam a few rows ahead of me. 

"I served in the 28th Louisiana infantry, formed in Monroe in 1862, under Colonel Henry Gray. It was there that we learned the value of human life, and the ease with which it can be extinguished. Uneducated as we were, we knew little of the political or ideological conflicts that had led to this point. But goin' to war was not a choice for us. We believed to a man . . . that we had a calling to fulfill. A destiny handed down to us from above." Bill spoke purposefully with a clear message he was trying to convey. I didn't understand the south with their pride for a war I believed to be about rights to slavery. Bill didn't describe it that way I heard so many times here down south. He didn't say he was fighting for 'what was right' but what they were led to believe. I didn't bring up my differing opinion on the civil war because I was a 'Yankee' to them and my opinion didn't matter although I found a surprising amount of people who shared my opinion. 

"God forbid should any of our men become wounded or injured. Often the only recourse for a serious injury was amputation. It often seemed that the man bein' operated upon suffered more from his surgery than he did from his original wound. Even if he survived the amputation, the chance of subsequent infection was high. In the winter months, the nights could grow bitter cold." His speech wasn't one of nostalgia I expected the descendants wanted to hear but it sounded like his truth. It was a bitter war fought by the poor boys with harsh consequences. I felt a real understanding for Bill, I previously thought he wanted Sookie just to bed but that wasn't Bill. He was sensitive and he seemed to grasp past human notions, unlike many vampires. I wondered, was he turned willingly? 

I smelt garlic somewhere and I looked around and found Eric smelt it too by the twitch of his nose. An elderly man stood by the grace of a cane.

"My great-grandfather was in the 28th. I wonder if you might have known him. His name was Tolliver Humphries." He spoke.

"Yes. I knew him very well. We fought together. Tolliver Humphries was my friend. He was a brave man, perhaps to a fault. I dare say it contributed to his death." Bill recounted a harrowing tale of war that hurt my chest in sympathy. 

"I've been digging in the archives this week . . . and I found this old tintype." Mayor Noris spoke. "The inscription on the back says, "Mr. W.T. Compton and family." Can you tell us if this is a picture of you?" 

Bill took the tin into his hands as if it was glass. His face softened impossibly and my heart broke. I could see him fighting against emotion. "This . . . this is a remarkable photograph. I remember the day we gathered to have this taken." Bill wouldn't have left his family I didn't think he was made voluntarily. 

'He Wasn't.' I heard Rocky, my dark passenger, input. 'Lorena Is One Crazed Bitch.'

His maker is named Lorena. She took him away from his family. .

Ms. Fortenberry broke the silence. "When was the last time you were with them?"

Bill softened more than I thought possible. "When I..I went to war in 1862. I...my human life ended before I had a chance to come back home." 

René asked "But'choo became a--a vampire after that, right? Couldn'tcha go back to your family then?"

Bill hardened again. "No. No. That wouldn't have been possible." He dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief. "I apologize. This is not a subject I'm very comfortable speaking about. But thank you for the photograph, Mayor. Brings back many memories for me." I noticed Eric's face didn't hold the same look of disinterest but rather a look of understanding. I hadn't thought about how gut-wrenching becoming a vampire could be, even the big bad Eric understood what Bill felt. The pain of becoming a vampire must have been so severe for some. Eric caught my gaze without a smirk or taunt. He just looked at me. I smiled sadly.

 

Eric didn't leave submissively like I hoped, he left with a promise that he would see me soon that left all clarity I would have felt without his oppressive figure contiguous. I tried not to think about how he would show up again. He acted like I had an obligation to be checked up on, but he hadn't said I was his new servant or whatever. He had a plan for me, he wanted to use me besides his strange form of entertainment. 

I walked Gran to my car and opened the door open for her. She fussed about like a polite old lady but eventually allowed me to open the door. The drive to her house was filled with quiet chatter about how Bill was a gentleman and I avoided the conversation about the blonde vampire who escorted me to the meeting. The house seemed empty without Adele in it, she was a part of it I felt. She was what made this house a home. She invited me in for tea claiming she would wait up for Sookie and that I was welcome to too. 

Adele and I stayed chatting and drinking tea for a long time. "Hey, Adele--" I began.

"Now what have I told you about that!" she scolded.

"Hey Gran," I started sheepishly. "Some time you have to give me that recipe for cheesecake you make, I've been thinking about it ever since you sent me home with a plate." It simply was the best cake I had ever had and she knew it too. 

"Why don't we make some right now? A real Grandma shows her kids how." She said all smiles. "Why don't you get the cookbook outta the closet." 

I nodded enthusiastically and a little childishly before I bolted to the closet. I opened the closet practically vibrating with excitement. I paused when I heard tires under gravel, Sookie was home! She could make the cake with us. I found that there was more than one cookbook, how could I expect anything different from the grandmother that was Adele. I decided it was better to be safe than sorry so I grabbed them both and skipped back to the kitchen, my hair flying in every direction. 

I saw Adele scouring the kitchen for various bowls and pans and I took in the sight and emotions that ran with it. Gran was family. My heart warmed at the thought of a real family. I never had this. My father and I were close when I was young but that bond shattered when my mother left. He became distant and dismissive of my existence. My time with John and Hennessy couldn't constitute as normal even if we were close. Here in this kitchen with a kind old woman who insisted I called her Gran, I felt like I was tasting that childhood I missed. It was normal and tasted sweet. She made me feel not freakish unlike everyone else. If I had a woman like her earlier in my life than it wouldn't have turned out so hard. I wouldn't have felt compelled to run away with a man I didn't know because of how hard it was at home. Nothing compared to what Trip did. 

"I love you, Adele." I felt the need to tell her how much she meant to me. "You mean a lot to Sookie and to me."

She smiled warmly. "Oh darling, I love you too. You and Sookie both. Such good girls." 

I laughed warmly. I held up the two books with a questioning look. She replied with a look of confusion and fear. I ignored her expression for a misunderstanding on my part. I laughed again. "Now which one of these is the Lemon Cheesecake--" My throat gurgled. I felt a sharp slice across my throat. I held my throat numbly and saw Adele scream. Shock held me still with my hands wrapped around my throat with the vain attempt to keep my blood from further embracing my body. Blood was everywhere, gushing eagerly, painting my hair and down my chest. I was pushed to the floor and felt a hard steel-toed boot slam repeatedly against my ribs. They must not have been satisfied that my ribs didn't crack because they exerted more force with each blow. I couldn't feel anything except the cold. I had never been cold in my life. I had felt the chills of withdrawals but never the freezing. I was always hot, often unbearably so. It was a fact of my life that didn't matter now. The corners of my vision blackened and I barely recognized the sight that was a hooded man advancing on a hysteric Gran. I let go of my throat and fell into the arms of darkness. 

I saw eyes, bright green eyes look back at me. "You're finally becoming who you were meant to be. No matter what you do, you will always end up here. Welcome home." They said. 

All I saw was fire and black tar. The screams were unbearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why don't Vivian's bones break?  
> Why doesn't she get cold?  
> Where is Vivian now?  
> Is this the awakening Rocky was talking about?  
> The story will continue . . .  
> What do you think is going on?


	10. Not Unlike Jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably edit it further later but I thought it would be a dick move to leave the story like that for a while. I'm a dick, but not that much of one. 
> 
> Also If I offend someone I really don't try to, it comes naturally. I'm sorry. Sorry I compared a fictional character to Jesus Christ (If you are of a faith that believes in him).
> 
> By the way, this is my first sort of attempt at smut so sorry. I have never written smut so this will be cringy! yay

I saw eyes, bright green eyes look back at me. "Welcome home." They said. 

This was Hell. I recognized it, I had been before. John had nearly drowned me in the attempt. He said it would reveal my bond to my abilities. This was different. There were crumbling buildings that were being blasted by constant nuclear shock waves. Everything was covered in flames. It engulfed what should have been the sky and pounded at the burnt husks of what should have been trees. The force blew at my face and body, pulling me in conflicting directions.

I collapsed to my knees and wept. I'd never been so devastated in my life. Was this what my fate was to be? Hell? I tried so hard to be a good girl. I screamed until my voice went hoarse. I screamed until the only thing that would escape my mouth was blood. I spit it out and looked into the man's green eyes. He had black hair that ended at his shoulders and half of his face was left disfigured by burns and peeled flesh. He smiled at me. I couldn't find it in myself to worry about his eyes that were drenched in mania. 

"I won't tell your daddy you're here. Come, there is someone who has been looking for you." He held out his hand excitedly. He shook his hand again when I hadn't taken it.

"Why am I here?" I mourned. "What did I do to damn myself?" 

He looked bewildered and tilted his head. "You were born of flames, this is your home. You could have been Mother Superior and still would have ended up here. Now come, he will explain all." He reached out to me and I retreated back, his face became angry and he grabbed my shoulder.

"I want to go home, I don't want to meet him." I cried out. 

He snapped "You can't leave yet, my master will have what is his." He fisted my cross in his hands. 

"I am nobody's." My body erupted with a foreign feeling in my veins that felt like pure heat. It vibrated through my veins and slammed against my bones. He looked fearful. I shoved him off of me and he severed the cross. The flames warped and twisted around me until all I saw was darkness. 

I gasped and bolted up clutching my neck that still gaped open but without blood flowing freely. No cross. It happened. I died. I died. I died and I went to Hell. Steam. There was a shroud of steam around me- no not around. From. My blood was boiling off of my skin along with sweat. I sat rocking myself and all I could feel was the absence of pain. I gingerly touched my wound and felt no strain. Was I alive? Was this shock? I stood and didn't sway on my feet, I should have, with the amount of blood that no longer resided in my body. My blood carpeted the floor and my clothes. I didn't know someone could have so much blood. I regarded that my blood pool had joined with that of Adele's. 

Adele laid on her side with cuts that met bone. I averted my eyes. Why did I come back to life if she had to die? I numbly wandered while avoiding slipping in my blood. I slipped off my shoes and walked to the homely coffee table placed by the door. I opened my purse and slipped out a cigarette from the carton. I stumbled outside. It was snowing. It doesn't snow here in summer. No warnings, no news reports. Heavy snow started to blanket the yard and me along with it. I patted my pockets but felt no outline of a lighter. I held up my index finger on a whim and it blazed brilliantly. I lit the cigarette and stood in the summer snow of Louisiana. I faintly recognized that smoke was coming from the wound in my neck and not only my mouth. I kept taking drags regardless.

Screams caught my attention as Sookie stood still full of shock. She wiped the shock from her limbs and ran at me. Her hands gingerly ghosted my body accompanied by her hysterical sobs. "We need to call an ambulance." She kept repeating and I could do nothing but stare at her. Sometimes I would inhale smoke and sometimes she would cry unintelligibly. 

"He killed Gran Sookie. Whoever killed Dawn and Pickens, killed Gran." I said emotionlessly. That spurred her to cry out more. I heard a whoosh that belonged to a vampire. I saw Bill appear with an apologetic and worried expression. Sookie blindly fell into his arms and cried. His head shot at me with a look close to shock with a mixture of curiosity. 

"What happened to you?" Sookie cried out still grasping onto Bill. 

"He slit my throat and killed Gran." She cried out further, deep in the throes of hysteria. 

"How are you alive?" Bill asked with a gruff guarded nature.

"I don't know. I don't know what's happening." I said in a state of stupor. "Am I alive?" 

 

My dress was in the trash and I wore a very large hoodie and Jason's old sports sweats. The police were done grilling me and had moved on to Sookie who was handling things better than I would have expected. My predicament had come crashing around me and I was shocked at how I handled it. I accepted the idea of everything with discomfort and unease but I was still functioning. I guess it does get easier. The detectives failed to notice the gaping wound at the base of my jugular. I had told them I was knocked unconscious and when I awoke Adele was dead. Bill had regarded me with caution and sympathy. He was wary of me, I would be too if a woman with a bared jugular was present for the murder of my (Ex)girlfriend's grandmother. 

I had told the police the only thing I knew, a semi-built man standing around 5' 9-5' 10 with steel-toed boots attacked Adele and I. They seemed irritated with my answer. Sam came a little after the police and held me carefully. He still held me while I sat there unresponsive. I saw they were loading up Gran's body so I lept to my feet, which startled Sam as I was unmoving for a long time. I ran to Sookie and warned her to move. She shuffled into Bill's arm and looked at me with an indecipherable look. 

"Will you stay the night?" She invited me. Bill stiffened.

"That could potentially be dangerous, Sookie," Bill explained. Sookie resembled offense. 

"She isn't dangerous, she has been lookin' out for me longer than you." She geared up into a rant that made me smile.

"He's right, Sookie. I can't stay here, we don't know what's wrong with me and I could hurt you. I really don't want to put you in any sort of danger, I care too much about you." I backed Bill up, much to his surprise. 

"Where are you going to go?" Sookie asked. "You need to go to a hospital."

"I can't go to a hospital. Most of my blood is on your kitchen floor and I'm standing steady with a slit throat. Ill go home." I offered. 

"You can't go home." She lectured terrified. "What if he comes back?"

I was going to quietly quip that he thought I was dead and I was yet to be successfully killed but I was interrupted by a deep voice.

"She's right, come with me." Eric sounded. I turned to find him behind me. He stared at my throat with an unreadable look that caused me to lift the collar of my hoodie to hide.

"Eric," Bill warned. "What are you doing here?" 

"I'm going to take Vivian with me and make sure she is looked after." Eric offered without looking at me. 

"I ain't letting her go anywhere with you," Sookie commanded. 

Eric opened his mouth to retort but I beat him to it. "He's right Sookie. I'm dangerous and we don't know what's wrong with me." Sookie softened. She nodded on the verge of tears. 

Eric wasted no time in holding my shoulders softly and escorting me to his sleek car that I faintly recognized as expensive. My hands shook uncontrollably when I reached for the car door. He engulfed my hand in his and opened the door for me. Delicately tucking me into the seat and buckling me. I was surprised at how gentle he was. Sookie was safer with me gone, I didn't know what I was and human seemingly less likely with each passing moment. 

 

I didn't realize we had arrived until he was unbuckling me and uprooting me out his car. He pressed me against him while he escorted me to what I assume was his house. It held a large green yard framed by black gates and a brick walkway that led to a very large sleek modern home with few windows. Vampires don't want the sun baking them to a crisp while they sleep. Not a lot of windows was smart. He shoved past the gate with ease and carried me into the house. He said nothing to me but rushed me downstairs. I caught a glimpse of the very modern design of the house with a traditional fireplace and bookshelves that covered several walls. He led me into a bathroom that was larger than my room. 

He studied at me with an air of condolence that I resented. With steady hands, he tugged the neckline of my jacket down and stared at the wound with harsh eyes that melted when he met mine. 

"Ill kill the man who did this." His words were severe and I fought the flinch my body wanted to give. He sounded absolute. His face relaxed and he straightened. "Leave the door open." I didn't argue for a dispute I knew I was doomed to lose, I nodded. He looked relieved at the fact I chose not to bicker with him. He shouldn't get used to that, it'll be back to normal in no time. 

When he carefully paced away, probably as to not scare me, I turned to the mirror. My hair was drenched with blood and plastered to my face that brought more attention to the unusual pallidness of my profile. Mascara smeared under my eyes and a hollowness that resided under every edge of my complexion. My eyes held a darkness that I had never seen in my own eyes before. I stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror in a crusted bra and underwear. I nearly gasped at the sight of my body. The left side of my ribs was bruised beyond recognization. Black and blue that wrapped me painlessly. I pressed my fingers to my side and felt no soreness. Nothing but a slight sensation of touch. From the neck down I was enveloped in blood that stopped at my lower abdomen and repeated on my legs. I looked up into the mirror and found Eric by the door holding folded clothes. He placed them down on the washbasin and shifted his complete attention to me. He outstretched his arms and held me by my hips. He looked at the colors marring my skin with a clenched jaw. I could barely stand my own scrutiny, his was overwhelming. I crossed my arms over myself and folded in as an attempt to escape his gaze. He looked rueful. 

"I have failed at keeping you safe." He announced placing his hands on my shoulders. "Whatever I said before doesn't matter, you need to take my blood. I don't know if you will survive the night." He eyed me with force. 

"I'll be fine once I feed." He looked unsure and opened his mouth. "If that doesn't work I'll let you show up at my door and I'll drink your blood." I yielded. 

"Feed off me," Eric stated. I shook my head furiously. "You fought hard to live, don't let that be in vain." He necessitated.

"Let me take a shower first," I spoke. "I am covered in blood." 

"It suits you." He offered to which I scoffed at. "How do I know that you won't faint when I leave you alone?" He challenged now void of humor. 

When my answer fell short he seemed satisfied except he didn't whisk me away, he led me into the shower fully clothed. I was thankful he made no motion to disrobe besides tossing his jacket out. His walk-in shower' was tiled floor to ceiling, It had multiple faucets and was extremely spacious. I stared at him expectantly and he held my gaze. He flipped the shower on and I was sprayed from every direction, everything echoed within the space. I gasped and struck his chest with my fist. 

"What do you think you're doing?!" My moodiness was stunted for a moment as I shouted at the equally drenched vampire in front of me. 

"Showering." He said innocently. 

"Yeah, but why with me?" I asked slowly as if he was daft. It seemed like he was. 

"You're standing but barely, Kitty." He sounded soft. "I'm going to keep my clothes on and you can keep yours on, but I'm going to wash the blood before it gets itchy." I wanted to remark it already was, but I felt too exposed. 

I watched as water trailed down his hair and down his face that was concentrated on mine, if I was in a better condition I would have been flattered. His white tee shirt that I had previously paid no attention to was now soaked and clung to his chest, outlining every detail of his torso. His breathing pushed water from his lips. I faintly wondered why he felt the need to breath when vampires only breathed to speak.

Eric was an intense man, in all senses of the word. He commanded recognition with the immense power that radiated from him. He was a powerful creature and it was hard to forget although I admit I had ignored it every time I mouthed off to him. He didn't beat me into submission, he found it amusing that I would talk back to a man that could so easily kill me. That was if I could die. I'd rather not have the chance to find out again. 

He shuffled me under the direct spray. He sped away and back before I could comprehend, the only evidence was the slight dash of water from his figure and the bar of soap in his hand. He held my hand and planted the bar into it. I slowly started to rub the bar against my chest in a futile attempt to wash away the blood that stained my body. Every time I moved I would brush against him and it felt far too intimate than anything I had done. I averted my eyes to my body to focus on scrubbing the stains away. 

He held something in his hands that I recognized as shampoo, he lathered it between his hands and threaded through my scalp. He massaged it thoroughly and I couldn't help the traitours moan that passed through my lips while my eyes closed. I gasped at the growl that vibrated through Eric's chest. I turned around when I couldn't stand the vulnerability I felt near Eric. He resumed threading his hands through my hair, cleaning it of any traces of blood. I felt his chest press against my back and I started scrubbing harder. I watched the red swirl in the drain. I noticed that no shampoo was left in my hair while Eric still worked with my hair. When my body was clean I ran my fingers through my hair and paused Eric's. I looked over my shoulder and he silently acknowledged I was clean. . . almost mournfully. He stood tall and walked away to most likely collect towels.

I took this precious time by myself to pry away my bra and underwear to clean myself completely. When I was satisfied I turned the shower off and stepped slowly cupping myself for a tiny amount of modesty that I could claim. Eric enveloped me in a towel and I noticed that he had changed into dry clothing. I thankfully took the towel while he tried to rein in his gaze to my face and not my broken body. He didn't look at me how I was, he looked at me like I was attractive and that felt foreign, Especially at this moment. He nodded to the clothes that were placed and I hurriedly pulled his clothes over my head. He held out his hand to me and for once in my life, I didn't mock or dismiss it, I took his large hands in my small ones. He led me to a bedroom that held small furniture including a vanity and no memorabilia, this must have been a guest room. I let go of his hand to towel dry my hair. I adjusted the black v-neck shirt so that it was slightly tucked into the track pants he lent me. I looked up from my fussings to see him seated on the edge of the king-sized bed. 

"You can sleep here, this bed hasn't been used." He stated. I was a little taken aback that a bed in Eric's house hadn't been used. Did he not have fang bangers staying over? I knew vampires didn't trust strangers in their bed next to them while they slept. Or did Eric not abide by certain vampire norms? Seemingly reading my mind he spoke again "You are the first human guest I have had over, the kitchen isn't stocked but that can be fixed."

"I'll leave in the morning so there is no need, but thank you, Eric. I appreciate it, all of this." I answered meaningfully. 

"I'd rather you stay until I awake."

"I can't. I need to check on Sookie." He pursed his lips. Then reluctantly nodded. 

"Can I check your injuries?" He asked. I nodded hesitantly, I walked to him and stood between his legs. He held my throat softly and inspected the slit. He looked up at me in wonder. "How are you still alive?" 

"I don't know if I am," I answered honestly. 

"Your heart still beats and your blood is already replenishing. I can smell it. You are alive, you are more than alive." He caught my eyes with fascination. "You are no human." 

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" 

He looked confused. "Humans are weak and frail, you are not." He stared at me for a moment. "I'm going to see if your ribs are broken, this might hurt."

He untucked my borrowed clothes and slowly lifted it to reveal the scarring. He gingerly placed his palm on my side, he pressed softly down. "Am I hurting you?" He asked. I shook my head. He pressed harder and shifted his hands down. I recoiled back and he looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" 

"No, it tickled," I said honestly. 

"If I'm hurting you, you need to tell me." he pressed irate. I rolled my eyes then dug two fingers into the cut on my throat. His eyes widened. 

"I haven't felt pain since I woke up," I told him after I retracted my fingers. 

"Strange. . . your ribs are intact but you should still feed." I realized this was his version of an invitation. The fact he wanted to kiss a girl that looked like a horror movie victim was beyond me. 

Previous qualms of moral honor dissolved and all that was left was the primal need for sustenance. I mounted his lap and felt his hands weave behind me. I rubbed my hands up his chest to his neck and behind curled in his hair. His arms tightened around me, forcing me flush against him.

I peppered a small kiss on his lips, hesitant and vulnerable. He, however, was not. He snaked his hand around her waist tighter and attacked my mouth. I wanted to take it slow so I didn't repeat the actions of the last time I fed. I was going to take little by little until I was healed enough. I set the pace slow, taking slow drags from him. I nipped at his lip, satisfied when groaned and forced his arms harder around my body.

He was more greedy than me and pushed his lips harder against mine in bruising strength. I pulled his hair in warning, which seemed only to spur him on further. He fisted my hair which provoked me to mewl and rut against his core. 

I realized my mistake once I looked into his eyes. They were darkened near black. He stood while supporting me with one hand on my ass that was definitely going to leave a pleasant bruise. I gasped to which he used to gain entrance further into my mouth. I didn't hesitate to meet him with my own tongue. The kiss felt like a fire that consumed my body. Flames licked and jolted through my core. I had never felt such a strong desire before and if I weren't suspended to a wall, I would've surely fallen. 

The more I fed on him, the harder he kissed me. I felt something solid against my thigh and I responded with a throaty moan. I heard his fangs click through his heavy breathing. I pulled his hair and with a possessive growl he pinned me on a desk I hadn't noticed before. He began thrusting into me hard and fast. God, we were like teenagers dry humping--except this wasn't anything close to dry. I heard wood splintering and cracking, we broke the desk. 

I grasped at his shirt desperately and heard fabric tear. I pried my mouth away to find his shirt shredded in my hands, he gave me a lopsided smile before practically tossing me on the bed. Somewhere he lost the care of hurting me and I was glad, I enjoyed it much more like this. He stripped of the little shreds of his ruined clothing. I didn't care that not too long I was bleeding out on Sookie's kitchen floor, right now I couldn't think about that. Eric launched at my lips fangs included. I felt. . . alive. For the first time in a long while. I felt strong and complete. I could feel sensation more intensely and his cool body was inviting. I was always burning. 

I tried to speak past his mouth that was latched on mine "Am I healed?" No matter how much I enjoyed it, the guilt was always there. The guilt that Sookie was at home, broken that her Grandmother died. The guilt that I lived and Adele didn't. The guilt that I was trying to bury my sadness in Eric. 

He paused, sighed, and rolled his eyes before pulling back. He checked out my neck with his hands. "Completely." He then thrust back to my lips. 

I was very tempted to let him continue. Especially when he did that thing with his tongue or with his teeth and even his ungodly weight against me. "I don't want to suck you dry." I pleaded. I wanted to remind him why we did this, so I could heal. Not for pleasure, I didn't want to further cross a line I suspected I was dancing on.

"I do." He snickered while he nipped at my jaw with his blunt teeth. 

He obviously had no self-restraint, I had to be the one to stop this. Rather than using words like an adult, I harshly grabbed the back of his head and drew him to my lips. 

He aligned his hips with mine, and I inhaled from him. Just enough for him to get dizzy. He rutted against me and I halted feeding to mewl like I had no self-respect. I then shoved him off with no effort, surprising us both because Eric weighed a metric Fuck-ton. 

He laid boneless next to me where I shoved him to. I turned my head to him. He was laying there with a self-satisfied smile and lidded eyes that stared back at me. "Sorry." I apologized. He just roared with laughter. He then slid me closer to his body. I was very unsure when he linked his arms around me while shoving my body into his. "Dying really takes it out of you." I joked. He bristled for a moment.

He buried his hands in my hair. "But you didn't die." He answered sure. 

"I saw hell, Eric," I spoke squeezing my eyes closed. 

"You don't know what you saw." He stated. 

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to try to escape from reality. At some point, it worked. I nodded off. I was in a pasture filled with flowers, surrounded by trees and a shining sun that beat down. It truly was a paradise. A garden of Eden. I wasn't alone, Eric was laid down beneath me. 

"You're not burning," I stated. 

"It's a dream." He responded.

"This isn't what I usually dream of," I said taking in my surroundings. 

"Yeah? What do you dream of?" He stated amused.

Hell, is what I dreamt of. Fire and pain, screaming and torture, and Trip. "Not anything this pleasant, I usually dream of Trip," I stated simply.

"Who is Trip?" He asked aggressively.

"My tormenter." I felt safe confessing to dream Eric. 

"I would kill him if he was real."

"You think I'm a dream?" 

"You seem to be the only thing I dream of lately, though this is a change of pace. You're clothed." He mused.

"Vampires dream?" I quizzed.

"Not much." He paused before bringing a hand to my face. 

"Is this your dream or mine?" I questioned.

"Mine." He stated. "You're not real." 

"Of course I am." 

"If you were real you would be shoving me away." He brushed the pad of his thumb over my chin. "Here, you're mine."

"I don't belong to anybody but me." 

"So you say," he considered. "But I will make you mine. You will be mine and you won't be able to leave me. To the day we die, you will be mine" He informed.

I shot up in the bed or attempted to. I was being held in an iron-clad grip by Eric's arms. 'Rigor mortis' I thought darkly. After that weird dream, I wanted to get as far away as possible. I pried his arms from me and kicked off the leg that was tucked over mine. I bolted from the bed and to the vanity that had a crack in the middle, reminding me of the regretful events that occurred. My neck had healed completely, only leaving a faint pink scar. My ribs had cleaned up entirely. Freaky. Upon further inspection, I found that I looked. . . better. My pores had all but disappeared, my hair was silkier, my eyes brighter, and my skin had been blessed with a rosy glow quality.

After feedings, I always felt better but this, this was different. I wasn't completely plagued with acne but all signs of flaws had vanished. It wasn't just physical traits that had improved, mentally I felt sharper and stronger. Had death brought me back improved? The concept gave me chills.

I bolted to the door, desperate for escape. I tried to pry it open but it was locked and in a panic, I had ripped the door off its hinges. I could've simply unlocked it but no, I had ripped a solid door off.

I whipped my head to Eric's unmoving form, he truly slept like the dead. HA. 

I awkwardly set the door against the frame and padded away. Upstairs, I found a note on a table with a fat wad of cash. I hastily read the note.

We will talk about this. Your secret is safe with me, Vivian. On the back of this paper is a cab company.

\--Your Slut

I scoffed in amusement before catching glimpse of a landline in the kitchen. I called the company while eyeing the wad of cash. He had given me way too much. He gave me enough to catch a ride to Texas and pick up a nice dinner. I pocketed enough to get to Bon Temps with the intention of paying him back. I already owed him too much. 

I had no idea what that dream meant, I had never dreamt of intimacy while sleeping. It always was nightmares or absurd dreams I couldn't make sense of. I categorized the dream of a mixture of both. He wasn't the man I wanted. The man I wanted was a good man that didn't choke me at every given chance. I had thought that man was Sam Merlotte but I wasn't the woman he liked. He wanted the sweetest girl I knew, Sookie Stackhouse, the woman I wasn't.

Maybe I just needed to be alone. My life had no place for petty men drama, I died. That took priority. Why had I come back to life, not unlike Jesus, with stronger senses and abilities? I had tossed Eric like a pillow, ripped a door off its hinges, and summoned fire without coercion. I was changing, or I had changed and I needed answers. What was happening to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is Vivian Shaw?  
> What is happening to her?  
> What was that dream?  
> What does it mean?  
> The story will continue. . . 
> 
> Feel free to comment your guesses and opinions! Especially your criticisms and notes.


	11. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS AND DUDETTES  
> I am so sorry for the long hiatus, my shit was BROKE. And by shit I mean me. I sunk into a low after a medication issue, but I'm here. Unfortunately for you.
> 
>  
> 
> Heres some bonus P.O.V. of the disembodied voice that follows Vivian as well as some history of this world I created.

"What's happening to me." She called to me in her native tongue. 

Devil speak. Very few blessed with the Divine language. Those insufferable Knights of Hell, The First Fallen, and a few assortments of powerful demons. Argos was not one of those. Argos could only speak Demon tongue. Not that Vivian would notice. The girl didn't even know she was conversing in the ancient tongue. Those who spoke Demon could understand Divine Speak but are unable to learn. It was an innate talent that few possessed. Those who could speak Divine were higher on the food chain and treated like royalty. Arrogant bastards. 

"Rocky answer me goddamn it!" She called me by the childish name she branded to me as a girl.

I thought it would be unwise to let her know my true name. Argos. I didn't remember my human life but knew I was named after my birthplace. The others called me by this name so Argos wouldn't forget. Argos had turned Demon, not truly born. They called me this to remind me my place in the hierarchy. A bottom feeder. This bottom feeder had found Vivian Shaw. The forgotten child and the heir of the damned. And she was his. They will see.

'You are changing, not as quickly as I hoped.' Argos answered truthfully. 

Her change was supposed to be instant but it seemed she was still repressing the parts of her true nature. Argos had to admit it took longer than Argos had ever thought. She would have turned sooner if it weren't for that bloody Constantine, The Laughing Magician. His appearance forced me to retreat to the furthest part of our bond. 

"What am I becoming?" 

What was she becoming? She had the original blood, but Argos would be lying if Argos knew what that meant to her besides power. She had displayed many talents of the succubus but too much for a mere desire demon. Her true promise had not shown yet. It was taking too long. She was gripping her humanity tightly. 

'Your true self.' Argos answered.

Knowledge was power and Argos was going to use that power when the time came. When she needed something substantial that Argos could provide. And everything has a cost. Argos would get what Argos wanted, what Argos created a bond between us for. Unfortunately, the bond was fading after her vacation to Hell, Argos was getting impatient. Soon enough Argos could only appear when summoned by her. Argos wanted her favor. Perhaps Argos would whisper in Trip's ear . . . disrupt her peace. Force her to become the creature she was meant to be. She needed to be complete for Argos to acquire her favor. Her favor would be a status symbol of strength among us in hell. Argos could stop lurking in the shadows in fear of the strongest. Argos valued intelligence unlike all those who presided in hell. The strong brutes who pulverized the weak for pleasure. Her favor would spare Argos a quiet existence. 

Vivian was angry, Argos could feel it through the bond Argos had created so long ago. The First of The Fallen had been imprisoned and his project forgotten, to most. Argos was, after all, the demon of knowledge. Vivian had shown promise, that scared her mother. It seemed Argos whispering things in her ear had been the final straw that broke the camel's back. Argos watched her for a few days before appearing to her. It was almost too easy to convince that little chubby child to open her mind to him. Argos had convinced her that Argos was her friend, children were so easy to fool. Argos was quite lucky that Argos had attached to her so young before her wicked will had solidified. 

Argos had been there. Always. Her first follower. Argos hoped that inspired reward when she came to strength. 

Argos was there when Trip caught her attention, had seen the promise of cruelty in his soul. Argos convinced her to run with him, to run from her false father. Argos was there in her drug-induced delirium, spurring her on with the countless promises of agony and all that was waiting for her if she lived. Argos assumed that she would let the death overtake her, give in so easily to what she was faced with. The torture, the rape, and the pain . . . but she hadn't. She forced herself to stay awake, to struggle. When Constantine appeared to her, Argos fled. He could have discovered Argos so easily and slaughtered all the hard work Argos had done. Argos found her again in Bon Temps. In a vampire bar. The lovely Lilith's creatures. The spared ones.


	12. Dead Woman Walking

Humans change. Usually by force in my experience. It takes something traumatic to change someone's behavior or view. The death of someone close to them often deters their path into something meaningful or sends another into a downward spiral. . . And some, some bring their goddamn disgusting half-assed leftovers as an excuse to tourist about on death heels. To whore out something as private as a death of a loved one for these perverse freaks, disgusting. Greasy gossiping vultures.

That wasn't right. I don't hate these people, these town folk might be nosey but none are any more of a freak than I am. Sometimes I don't recognize these thoughts, they are mine but not. They feel recalcitrant and alien, like something dug up from someplace deep inside me that was meant to stay buried. Maybe that's why I was sent to Hell, someone up there knew what I was deep down and perceived my place was eternal punishment.

Did death make me bitter or was it something different completely? When I was younger I had these moments of humanity escaping me, it felt like others were feeble and didn't deserve the life granted to them. It was Constantine who changed me, his teachings gave me a purpose even if he claimed he was just a bastard with a business card. To protect those who can't do it themselves. A chance to help someone. 

When you learn of those forces beyond comprehension, you can't go back. It's too late, you can't help but obsess. I did what made the most sense; I buried myself in the arcane, honed my natural abilities and learned new ones. Any asshole can do magic, but not every asshole is born with the sight. The "God-given" ability to see all that wasn't right. Those assholes are doomed from the start including myself.

 

I could smell our blood, Adele's and mine, despite the immaculate image of the kitchen. Not a drop of red in her kitchen. I sat at the table with Sookie in silence, sometimes she would stare at my neck or on the floor where her grandmother and I were forcibly put to rest. I just sat, letting her process her thoughts and those around her. I didn't know how to approach anything, there weren't any self-help books on how to deal with resurrection besides beheading or a stake to the heart. I didn't know how to comfort her in her grief. I felt swallowed by the mourning of my death, the constant obsession with how it would change me.

I was tired of hearing the whispers from supposed friends gossiping about how Sookie ran with a vampire and caused this and the women jabbering, waiting for someone brave enough to ask me what I saw. Some revealed to each other that I did it or that Sookie had Bill do it for the money that Adele didn't have. 

"Oh, Mrs. Fortenberry, you shouldn't have," Sookie spoke. 

"You poor child. I am so sorry for your loss." She said scanning the kitchen and then to myself. She looked like a dog that had a chunk of meat in front of its face. "It must have been so terrible." was the closest thing she could get to 'how bloody was it?' 

"Yes, thank you for your concern," I stated devoid of emotion. 

"That's very kind of you. Gran often talked about you, so Thank you" Sookie acknowledged.

"Adele was just an angel sent from heaven. Too good for this world. We're all gonna miss her so much." I felt the obligation to inform her that angels were kind of dicks in reality. A conversation for another time I suppose.

Sookie donned the signature look of sensory overload with her big eyes and shakey hands. She excused herself to run head first into Arlene, who was dressed like a trashy hooker waiting to be knocked up by another high school dropout. I didn't mean- it was intrusive. Why was my mind plagued by these thoughts? 

"So, you saw it all happen?" She approached. I responded with an intense glare anticipating for her to say something. She padded away to shove her disgusting dish inside the fridge. She switched her nauseating dish with Adele's pie.

"Maxine Fortenberry, you put that pie down right now!" Sookie snapped. I calmly looked at her to see her veins popping and her eyes watering. I stood and shut the fridge door, I leaned against it. I could almost taste the emotions- no I could. Grief littered the air like nuclear winter, coating everything in ash. Was I smelling pheromones? 

"This is Gran's pie!" She snatched the pie with a flushed face. 

Everyone stood watching Sookie, like some sick form of entertainment. Maxine bumbled over her words in shock, this wasn't the Sookie everyone knew. This wasn't the Sookie who took everything and bottled it up, this was the Sookie who was exhausted. 

Tara took in the scene and within a second strode over to Sookie. Tara guided Sookie out of the kitchen stating "If you all'll excuse us...I need Sookie upstairs." She waved me over and I followed. 

Sam sucked in a breath of air gearing up to give his input. Tara cut him off with a "Just give us a little girl-time."

Sam grabbed my arm as I passed. "Could we talk tonight?" I studied his face. When I first started working for Sam I felt this thick feeling in my chest because of his eyes. I thought they would promise comfort but all I felt was a creeping feeling that I wasn't the woman he loved, I was the one to kill time with before the woman he loved found him. 

I felt this strange distance from the life I created for myself, I didn't feel like myself. I just want to feel normal, it's all I've ever asked for and I thought Sam could provide that. But I couldn't just think about myself anymore, I had to think about Sam. What would my involvement with Sam cause him? I was sure to cause trouble and it seems he's had enough of that in his life. 

"I don't think that would be smart," I stated. 

"I'm worried about you. Just come see me, you outta talk to someone. Why not me?" 

Because I think I love you. Because I'm a disaster. Because the last man I loved killed me inside and I couldn't stand it again. 

"Let me care about you, Kitty." He reiterated. "Just come over tonight."

"Okay." 

I strode away from the confusing and conflicting emotions chewing me up inside like a pack of rabid wolves. I never really talked things out before, not with people. I talked to Rocky, the realization made me feel lonely. 

I stomped into Sookie's room and launched myself on her in a big hug. I quickly realized that things are changed, it wasn't like before. It wasn't a friend comforting her but a girl whose throat was slit grasping her. She might be uncomfortable hugging a dead woman- my dismal thoughts were cut short by her laying her head on my shoulder. 

"Thank you for gettin' me out of there. Haven't had a single minute of silence. Can't seem to...block anything out right now." Sookie related through my hair to Tara. I rubbed her back and sat next to her.

"You want me to tell 'em all to shut the hell up?" Tara quizzed. I smiled, I'd really like to see that.

"I wish it were that easy," Sookie said. 

"It really is, I have a few choice words myself," I told her.

"It is. Your wish..." Lala fished a plastic bag of pills out of his pocket. "...Is my command."

"Oh, no. I don't do drugs." She claimed. I rubbed her back while staring at his pills.

"Sook. Relax! This is not drugs. This...is just a Valium." That wasn't as bad I supposed but it still was a drug. "Well, I tell you what: Put it on your nightstand...just in case you change your mind. I'm gonna go and check on the circlin' buzzards." Lala stood before being stopped by Sook.

"Lafayette?" Sook tentatively asked. 

"Yes Ma'am," Lala spoke.

"Would you mind... taking this downstairs for me?" 

"I will guard it with my life." He said conspiringly, taking the pie and sashaying away. 

Sookie looked at me and smiled sadly. "This house will feel so lonely without her, without anyone."

"She made this house a home." I agreed. 

"Will-will you move in? I can't take care of the house by myself." She sincerely asked. "You don't have to answer now, think about it."

"You'd want to live with me? Even after what happened?" I was flabbergasted. I thought I would scare her. 

"What happened was terrible, but it wasn't your fault and I don't think any differently about you." She spoke. 

"Oh Sookie, I'd love to live with you," I said with unshed tears. She wrapped her arms around me. 

"But I think there's a conversation we need to have later." 

"Yes of course," I said wiping my eyes to prevent the tears. 

I felt bad for Tara who had no idea what we were talking about. She eventually changed the subject. 

"Do you want me to call anyone? Your cousin Hadley?" She asked delicately.

"No one has heard from her for in over a year since she ran away from that rehab Gran paid for. I don't even know how to get hold of her." Sookie said. I remember Sookie talking about her, she sounded vaguely like myself when I was young. 

"What about Bill? You wanna invite him?" Tara asked, forgetful of the fact that the sun would fry him up like a potato. 

"Tara, he can't go." Sook reminded her.

"Oh. Right."

"It's not like you've...known a lot of vampires. It kinda takes gettin' used to."

"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it." Sookie stared at Tara.

"What? Not everyone is as open-minded as you. Shoot me. You should hear the things people are sayin'."

"I do." Sookie said louder than before. "Bill did not kill my grandmother!" Sookie said.

"Don't you get all mad at me. Nobody's blamin' Bill...exactly. But didn't you tell me he had scary-ass friends?"

"Not all the vampires are like that."

"I'd fuckin' lose it if anything happened to you. You know that, right?" 

"Tara, last night was so horrible. I don't know how I would've gotten through it if it weren't for Bill. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but..." I heard Jason's truck racing to the house like a bat outta hell " ...it's like I almost feel normal."

"You are normal, Sookie. You deserve every goddamn thing in this world, and if Bill gives that to you then who the fuck cares what everybody else thinks. Fuck 'em!" 

Jason came running through the house and I sat up. When he slammed the door open I was bombarded with the smell of blood, vampire blood. Whoever gave Jason Fucking Stackhouse 'V' is a goddamn fool. Oh Shit Lala, you dumb bitch.

Sookie stood sympathetic "Jason."

He slapped Sook so hard she fell onto the bed. "It's your fault!"

"What the fuck!" Tara screamed.

"Gran is dead 'cause o' you. It should have been you!" He yelled in a fit.

I lost all control of my actions as I punched him in the nose. When I heard sobbing I turned and went to Sookie's side. I checked her cheek while she sat there frowning at Jason with tears streaming. It was already swelling. Jason lunged at Sookie again and I sat in front of her, daring that stupid asshole to try some shit again.

"Don't you lay your hands on her!" Tara shouted holding him back.

"She's screwing a vampire Tara, a fucking vampire!" He shouted at Sookie.

"Yeah, and that vampire was here for her when you weren't!" Tara shouted. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself! Is that how you grandmother raised you? To beat on your own sister? Look at you! I don't even recognize you anymore! Get the hell out of here!" She shoved him out the door. "Get out! Get out!"

She looked at Sookie with tears in her eyes. "You OK?" Tara's shaky voice sounded.

Sookie said nothing but picked up the pill and swallowed it. I held out a glass of water and she gulped it down. 

"I'm gonna come in the morning and make you your favorite breakfast, okay babe?" I said laying her down.

"Berry pancakes?" 

"Of course, anything you want." 

Sookie began to close her eyes. "I can't hear you anymore. it's so quiet in there."

It took me a moment to understand what she meant. 

"You should be able to, my ward washed off weeks ago."

"At church it was normal, but since it's just like a cave. Hollow." I tucked her in while she chatted about a troubling subject with a laid-back quality and ease.

"Goodnight Sookie, Ill see you in the morning."

"So those berry pancakes?" Tara asked.

"I'll make you best goddamn pancake you ever had." 

"Mmhm, I heard that before." She said as we left Sookie's room.

"Don't doubt me, bitch," I warned in humor. She laughed shortly. 

"Alright, youse gots to go," Lala announced to me when my foot found the bottom step.

"Why? You guys can't clean up by yourself." I demanded.

"Go home, we can clean up some pity food by ourselves," Tara stated.

"Yeah well don't eat any of it, you know it was whipped up last minute," I said heading for the door. I picked up my purse on my way out the door. I had a shifter to break up with. I guess it's not really breaking up if you just occasionally hook up when the other is sad or drunk. Oh my god I feel like a teenager again. I sound desperate even to myself. 

 

Sam was sitting on his porch with a beer in his lap. He sat up straighter when he noticed my car. 

"I wasn't sure you'd come." I sat next to him.

"Me and you both," I admitted while sitting next to him. It was disturbing how Sam made me weak, I'd come over with a promise to never see him again and end up tangled in his bed sheets.

"I need to ask you something."

"Shoot," I spoke while popping the cap of nearby beer that he undeniably had grabbed for me. 

"Your throat was slit," He started.

"It was, wasn't it?" I replied glaring up at the sky. I traced the scar at the base of my neck.

"What are you?" 

"Psychic." I supplied.

"You know, I knew you were different the moment I saw you." He said. 

"What gave it away?"

"Shifter instincts I guess. Like how I know when there's gonna be a storm." 

He paused to see if I would respond. 

"Did you die?" He asked after a hiatus.

"Yeah, I did." I sighed.

"You don't smell dead," he remarked curiously.

"Thanks, means a lot to me." 

"You seem pretty breezy about this death thing." He told after a breath.

I shrugged and stared at the beer. "People die all the time, I just don't know why I came back. Why I survived all this shit just to die. I guess someone isn't done with me yet." 

Sam studied my face with a reluctant countenance.

"Go ahead and ask, I know you want to." I lectured.

"What's it like? Is there an afterlife?" He gawked at me. 

"I could've told you before I died. God exists, so does the devil. Heaven and Hell. I'm a Catholic Sam." I lectured. 

"That's not what I meant. What did you see?" 

"You'll see one day, just believe you'll go to heaven and you will. That's mostly how they sort it, there are exceptions though."

"How do you know?"

"I know a guy." 

"You are the hardest person to talk to, you know that? I try to connect with you-" Sam began.

"You weren't connecting with me, you wanted to know about life after death." I cut him off calmly. 

"I do care," Sam said holding my shoulder.

"Not in the way I want, but that's okay," I spoke softly. Our romance was ill-fated at best. "You weren't supposed to."

Sam did the possibly worst thing he could have done in that situation. He kissed me. It was delicate and if I closed my eyes I could pretend that this was my life. 

A man I loved woke up next to me every morning, I would cook breakfast and he would make lame jokes that I would always laugh at. I would have 2.5 kids and love my neighbors. I wouldn't know the meaning of the word supernatural and my life would be blissfully ignorant. But that wasn't my life. It would be foolish to dwell on all that could be when it never will be. I'm not meant for simplicity. I tore myself away from Sam. 

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded in a huff.

"What are you talkin' about?" Sam puzzled. 

I couldn't continue. I fell into myself, all previous will to tell him off dissolved. "You just kissed a dead woman, I think they call that necrophilia." I deflected with an artificial smile.

"You're pretty warm for a dead woman." He put his hand on my inner thigh and edged closer. He trailed kisses down my jaw. 

My rage boiled. He said he wanted to talk, asked me what death was like and then kissed me? How dare this low life dog violate my feelings like this. How could he assault my feelings like a boy blowing up dolls with firecrackers? He thinks I'm a stupid submissive girl to have fun with until his wife comes around? He's wrong, I will not be pushed around. I won't be made the fool, not anymore.

I began to speak while he kissed my neck. "Are you gonna pretend I'm Sookie again? Call out her name with your eyes closed? Oh? You thought I didn't know? I'm a decent actor I'm sure I could pretend if you wanted." He stopped kissing me. I don't what came over me, it was as if I was watching from outside of my body. I felt like an unwilling spectator but I couldn't stop. Something took control, something I pushed down for a long time. "Oh Sam, I've always loved you. I don't care if you slept with Kitty and Tara, my two best friends." My voice mimicked Sookie's flawlessly with a fraudulent swoon. I watched Sam's face contort with every blow I made. I stood to walk away.

I said Sam slept with Tara. I knew? He slept with Tara! What was his plan? Sleep with everyone close to Sookie?

I turned around and went off on Sam once again. 

"So you're just gonna play with my feelings until Sookie dumps her boyfriend? You think she's not with you because of that vampire? She worked with you for years and you didn't make a move, but now you're pissed because someone took a toy out of the sandbox? I can't believe I like such a problematic bitch- and I mean that literally- who is moments away from pissing on a girl to claim territory." I ranted at him. "You're so fucking dense sometimes." I stomped to my car and away from a speechless Sam.

My car shot gravel behind my wheels while I sped off to the closest bar in Shreveport. Fucking asshole.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think babes?


End file.
